In a few months, unless there is a miracle I will no longer be able to stay in my home. It is costly to have home care and my funds have been depleted. This week, I begin the process of looking into skilled nursing facilities. I am grateful for my family's help to find the right place. I don't want to go on government assistance and end up in a Medicaid bed in a facility.
What scares me the most, other than leaving the only home I have ever known, is losing my independence and not being able to get out and do the things I enjoy doing. Losing the ability to make decisions for myself.
I am dependent on others for assistance with almost every aspect of daily living. Yet, I think of myself as an independent person. I was talking to a friend last week, saying how I feared losing my independence if I went to a facility. My friend told me that independence is a state of mind. It's how you conduct yourself and how self assured you are. .If you act in a way that let's those around you know you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, you will be. Independence should not be measured in terms of how much assistance someone needs, but rather, in how they think ,and their ability to make well thought out decisions. I have difficulty making decisions sometimes, but I am working on sticking to a decision once I have made it.
There is so much I want to do. I want to still blog and try to help others through my writing. I would like to still contribute to the community by volunteering again.
I must try to remember I am still the same person,. The only thing that's changed is my address.