Monday, August 15, 2016

HOW DID I GET HERE?

Okay, maybe that is a rhetorical question, but it is one I ask myself a lot, late at night, as I wait for sleep to come. What could and should I have done differently? And, most importantly, what can I do to change my situation now?

I .accept the fact that it is my fault that I am here.  I didn't have the skills to manage caregivers, a house and a sick dog. Someone told me people with disabilities need to help  themselves. I agree. However, when you have been sheltered all of your life and had everything done for, as I had, you don't have a clue about how to manage your life/. At least I didn't.

The social worker who forced me out of my home only met me once. I  was not aware I had been hot lined until my family informed me five days before my life changed forever. Yes, I would have freaked out, but at least I would have been a part of the discussion concerning my life. I do not have a guardian, It was the social worker's job to inform me, not my family's. My family did everything they could to keep it from happening.

The social worker knew nothing about me, my life or what was important to me. They just did their job. They have been to see me once since I have been here. They offered to make it possible for me to play Bingo at a senior center. I declined the offer. They promised to return to discuss my options. They have yet to do so.

When you are as disabled as I am, other people always think they know what's best. They make the rules, but they don't have to abide by them.  I am sure that the social worker hasn't given me another thought. I am in a contained environment. That is all that mattered to them. Not my happiness or quality of life.

It's been almost two years. I still cannot believe this happened  to me.  Because of an anonymous phone call, the life I knew was taken away from me.

I am not supporting a candidate I am supporting disability rights. People with disabilities should help themselves. And, as a nation, we should help each other because anyone's life can change in an instant. No one is guaranteed a perfect future.

The things I want are simple:
To sleep in a comfortable bed
To be able to decide when, where and what I want to eat
To have privacy when I am in the bathroom (Last week someone from laundry came in.)
To be able to go out on weekends
To have my needs met. 
To not ht be forgotten
To know that I matter
Privacy and having choices are important to me.

I am so tired of being here. Tired of having to advocate for myself everyday.Tired of hearing staff complain about how hard their job is. That they can't  wait to go home. I'd like to go home too. And, someday, I will.

I have hope. I have to have plan that is safe and viable. It won't happen tomorrow. I deserve another chance. I know it will happen..

You all know how I got here. The question is, what do I need to do to get out?











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