Wednesday, August 31, 2016


I am sure you have heard the saying, "It's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole" No matter how hard you try, the square peg just doesn't fit. This analogy fits my relationship with the other residents in this facility perfectly.

This fact was driven home to me,in the past few weeks .I have tried to be friendly with other residents, specifically, two residents at my table. These two residents consider themselves a couple here .Everyone knows them. If you see one of them you automatically expect to see the other.

When I began sitting at their table they made another resident uncomfortable because they ignored them. Their excuse was they could not hear them and they were weird, The resident moved. They told me I could stay. It was the other resident they'd wanted to .move. When the resident moved, things were fine. We ordered take-out at dinner and enjoyed a glass or two of wine.  My brother began barbecuing for us,  They got steaks and salmon burgers. They were happy. I was accepted.

The couple .always did a certain amount whispering. I also watched her feed him strawberries and touch the side of his face. Lately, it has gotten worse. Last week, he turned his back to me, in his chair, so I couldn't enter their conversation. And, when he was leaving the dining room one day, I offered to stay and keep her company while she ate. I was told,"You're not the right gender." I left without saying a word.

Residents here have always looked at me like I am from another planet because I write. I have a life outside of this place via my computer. I have goals. They don't understand me. I am tired of trying to fit in. That doesn't mean I am better than they are. I am just different.

I shared a lot with the residents at my table. I knew they were not as fortunate as I am. My family gets whatever I ask for. Someone told me the were just using me. I would hate to think that's true.

The other resident at our table doesn't care if they talk to them. After this week neither do I.

It is hard to live in this facility. My room and computer are my solace.

I used to enjoy sitting in the front of the facility. I could see the road in the distance. I liked  looking at the cars on the road. That symbolized freedom to me. There are new safety rules. We are not allowed to sit in front alone anymore.I don't want to sit on the back patio with other people.  I like to sit by myself. Just relax. Guess that makes me a square too.

I know what is important to me. I don't care what anyone thinks. I like who I am. And, you know what? It's hip to be square