Wednesday, August 23, 2017

QUIET PLEASE

I don't know if writing this blog is worth it anymore. People connected with this facility do not like my negative posts. If my posts offended anyone I  apologize. That was not my intention.

When I wrote for Voyce the staff there wanted to know what life was like for me here.  I made a video for them. They used my essays and video in training sessions. I was using my voice to try to make things better. I was making a difference. That's what this blog is about. Shedding light on issues.I decided to write the essays as blog posts because I thought my essays would be of interest to my readers. They were.  My aides were not happy. I was retaliated against. Aides refused to come in my room. Some of them asked me not to write about them in my blog posts. I was and still am, thought of as someone who gets people fired. I don't have that much power. Aides get written up or fired because of their behavior. 

Believe it or not, I am I the last person who wants to see anyone lose their job. The aides have families. They need their jobs. I just want to be treated fairly, listened to and have my wishes respected.  I stopped writing for Voyce. The pressure was too much. 

If some all the aides here took the time to get to know me,, instead of listening to rumors and judging me by my past behavior,, they would see the kind of person I am. I am just trying to get my needs met, not have accidents and not be forgotten.

I am learning that if I advocate for myself things just get worse. .No one will help me. It took me almost three years, but I understand now. it is best to keep quiet and get the assistance I need.It's sad, but it is a fact. If I speak out no one wants to listen.

I wanted to make a difference. I wanted my writing to matter. I wanted to help to bring about change. I felt it was important to let people know what it is like to live in a skilled nursing facility.I wanted to write my truth.

I think I will stop blogging for a while. If I cannot speak my truth there is really no point.

I will still be writing.Writing is a part of me.  I just won't be blogging. Maybe I will blog again, maybe I won;t. Only time will tell.