Saturday, February 28, 2015


Grief. I am sure you have all experienced it. That sense of loss and unbearable sadness when you think your life will never be the same again because the loss has been so great. Grief doesn't distinguish on the basis of race,  socio-economic class, ethnic background or religion. There is no language barrier when it comes to grief . An individual's body language and facial expressions speak volumes when it comes to loss, sadness and grief. It doesn't matter where you live, no one will escape the feelings of grief and loss in their lifetime.

 I am still grieving over Lucie. She was a constant source of joy for me, especially after my mom passed away. I am also grieving over the loss of my old way of living. The sale of my house and all of its furnishings. And, this week, I am grieving over what might have been regarding a situation that did not work out as I had hoped. I will try to move forward as best I can, 

In my opinion, the best way to deal with grief and loss is to wake up each day and put one foot in front of the other, keep moving, Playing word games on my computer helps me. I have to focus on the game rather that what's making me sad. There will be days when you may not feel like it, but you have to keep busy and think about what you can do to make your life better. And, what you can do to make someone else's life better. 

I am writing this for anyone who has suffered a recent loss and is grieving. I want them to know. I understand. There will be good days and bad days, but I know we'll get through it. 

Grief is universal. Its the one thing everyone on this planet has experienced and can relate to. We need to help each other through it in any way we can. I know it is a cliche, but we are all on a journey called life. Sometimes we need a little help to get through the tough times. We need someone to listen, someone to care, someone to let us know we are not alone.

Sunday, February 15, 2015


I am in a facility now. The move happened quickly. It was out of my control. The reasons are not important. October 15,,2014.  The day I had to leave Lucie in the care of my neighbor.The day I said goodbye to my old life.The day I realized my life would never be the same again. 

Life here consists of waiting. Waiting to get up in the morning, waiting to go to the bathroom, waiting for just about everything. I am one of the twenty-four residents on my floor now. It is not just about me anymore. 

It's a struggle each day to see that my needs are met. I have to be my own advocate. No one can do it for me. I have also tried to help advocate for another resident on my floor. I am considering  becoming an ombudsman or getting my license to practice social work sometime in the future. I don't know what the future has in store for me, but I do know that I want to do whatever I can to help make facilities better for all of us who live in them. That's the one positive thing that has come out of my being here. I know I want to help advocate for change.

Other than my change of address, my life is pretty much the same as it always was. I still am intent on becoming a freelance journalist, I travel into the city several times a week to volunteer at my library and still eat out with friends. The only difference is I take public transportation to my destinations now. That took some getting used to, but I think  I have gotten the hang of it. I still love to read, the only difference is I download books to my PC and Kindle now.Oh yeah, I am still a Cher fan too. I listen to her music all the time here.

The saddest thing that has happened since I have been here is that Lucie passed away on November 23, 2014. Five weeks after I left. I miss her daily, but  I am happy because she is with my mom now. I am thankful for all the love and care she received from my neighbor during her final weeks.

I still have a life. It may not be the life I had a year ago ,but I am still as independent as I can be. I think for myself and make my own decisions just like I did before. I'm still me