Saturday, December 31, 2016


2016 is drawing to a close.We lost many talented people in the entertainment and music industry. Many police officers lost their lives in the line of duty. Many in our country were dissatisfied with the outcome of the presidential election. Instead of uniting, we were divided as a country. It made me sad.

I have been trying to work on changing my behavior. I am a very sensitive and emotional person. I have been, and am continuing to, work on controlling the way I react to people and situations. I try not fly off the handle.   I still make mistakes/. I am not perfect. I always apologize. All I can do is keep trying. I know I am improving.

With the help of The Starkloff  Disability Institute, I am working toward getting some kind of writing job that I can do from the facility. This is the first step in my plan to find a new living situation/ My resume is now completed. I may be physically dependent on other people, but, I am a proud person. I know I can't earn much, but I need have a job to feel productive and improve my self-worth.

 I learned that I angered the individual .who forced me from my house. It's true, I yelled, begged and pleaded to remain in my house. If by some remote chance you are reading this, please accept my apology. My whole life was taken away. I am sure, had you been in my position, you would have reacted the same way.

I keep busy. I am even learning Spanish online. People here just exist. I cannot do that. I want a life. For the first time in a very long time, I have hope that positive changes will happen for me in 2017.

I hope the country and the world will become more united in 2017. I pray that the incoming administration does not cut funding to programs needed by so many.

Thank you to my family for their continued love and support this past year. I love you all very much. To all of my readers, I hope the coming year brings many positive changes to your life. Thank you for taking life's journey with me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR. Make it a good year.

 . . .

Thursday, December 22, 2016


Did you ever stop to think about the lyrics of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer?  I never did. I just sang along with the the catchy little tune. I never gave the words a second thought. When I watched the television adaptation, that premiered in 1964, I didn't think about the significance of  Santa stopping in the Land of Misfit Toys  I didn't think about him giving the toys to children so they could love them.  I was  a kid.  It was an animated Christmas special. Santa was in it. That was all that mattered. 

I did at little research on Wikipedia. That is when I realized what an important message the song and story have.

Delivering toys would not have possible without Rudolph. It was his blinking red noise that guided Santa's sleigh through the fog that Christmas Eve. The same Rudolph the other reindeer laughed at, called names and refused to play with. The reindeer with the shiny red nose that blinked saved Christmas.

Donner trained him. Santa believed in him. Santa gave a purpose. Santa celebrated the fact that Rudolph was different.  Santa looked past his differences and focused on his abilities..

Just like those misfit toys we are flawed and imperfect. It is those flaws and imperfections that make us who we are. We don't always have to fit in. It is okay to stand out. Be proud of who you are.

Rudolph is a great story for children with disabilities. Santa believed in Rudolph. He saw his potential, not his limitations.

Anything is possible. Like Santa in Rudolph,  you just have believe. Isn't that what Christmas is all about?


Sunday, December 11, 2016


When I was young, Christmas was about Santa, toys and decorations.Mostly decorations. 
I would beg my mom to let me transform our house into a winter wonderland. We had every Christmas decoration known to mankind,. Well, it seemed that way anyway. Closets were bursting. My mom finally had to tell people to stop giving me decorations because she had no more room to store them.

My brother put lights on the outside too.  No inflatable snowman or Santa for us. We had the big heavy plastic ones from when were were little. My brother worked hard on the house. When he was finished, ours was by far,the the best decorated house on our street.  Christmas was an exciting and magical time when my mom was alive.  My favorite  time of year. 

Christmas in a facility is just another day. Many residents have told me that. It is so important to have visitors not only during the holidays, but all through the year.. My wish for all the residents in long term care is that they may have lots of visitors  throughout the year.. No one should be forgotten. Everyone should have someone who cares about them. 

It's been almost seven  years since my mom died. I have not always treated my family with the respect they deserve. All I want this Christmas is for them to forgive me.  
I am not perfect. I screw up. I keep trying. I am becoming a better person. I appreciate everything that they have done and continue to do.for me. .I love all of them very much.  I am sorry.

My second wish is for the gift of hope.  Hope that I will be given a chance to live outside of this facility. I look forward to working with Paraquad and Starkloff Disability Institues to make my goal a reality.. If given the chance, I won't blow it this time.

My wish for the world is that someday, we are able to accept each other's differences.. That we live in peace.

My wishes are not things you can wrap with a bow.-They are the most important things I have ever asked for. 

I hope all of your wishes are granted this Holiday Season.