3... 2... 1... 2023 IS DONE

In a matter of hours.

Let's say forty-eight.

Give or take.

At math, I'm not that great.

3...2...1... 2023 is done.

There were lots of changes in 2023.

My housemates moved. 

They now reside in long-term care

I miss them.

It's so not fair

3...2...1... 2023 is done.

2024 will bring. male housemates.

Oh boy.

Oh, joy.

Moving to a smaller room.

I wanted to stay in this house.

This is what I got.

I hope it works out

3...2...1... 2023 is done

2023 saw a change in me

I hope you can see/.

I try to be chill.

Calm if you will.

What does it matter anyway?

I do my best.

Forget the rest.

3...2...1...  2023 is done.

I saw the lights on Candy Cane Lane.

Saw the house that's not mine anymore.

Memories galore.

It made me sad.

Not mad.

Time marches on.

I've got to march with it.

3...2...1.. 2023 is done.

Some dreams you have to let fade.

No matter how much you want them to be saved.

3...2...1.. 2023 is done.

Cataracts, clean teen, and a physical

Thanks 2024.

I couldn't ask for more.

3...2...1.. 2023 is done.

Spread love.

Not hate.

Be kind.

Don't whine. 

Agree to disagree.

Please do that for me.

Keep Pushin' 

Surviving.

Thriving.

3...2...1... 2023 is done.

Thnks for reading nd suporting.

Let's knock 2024 out of the park,

Don't be a dork.

3...2...1,,, 2023 is done

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FLY EAGLES FLY INTO CHIEFS KINGDOM

 The title of this post comprises the extent of my knowledge of football.

Wait. That's not entirely true.

I know Travis Kelce's position is a tight end and Jason Kelce is a center.

#87. #62.

Impressed yet?

Fly Eagles fly into Chiefs Kingdom.

The Chiefs brought home a win. 

They ruled in Super Bowl LV II.

]In November, it was the Eagles turn on Monday Night Football.

They swooped in for the win.

Sharing is caring.

Fly Eagles fly into Chiefs Kingdom.

.

Mama Kelce is cool.

I'd go to the NFL Hall of Fame just to take a pic of her shoes.

Win or lose she's there for her sons.

Because in her eyes they'll always be #1.

Fly Eagles fly into Chiefs Kingdom.

New Heights is their podcast.

It's #1 in sports.

Listen every Wednesday.

If you want to get their reports.

Fly Eagles fly into Chiefs Kindom.

From New News to No Dumb Question. Intern Brandon. Taylor Swift.

You'll get the scoop on it all.

They might even give Papa Kelce a call.

Fly Eagles fly into Chiefs Kingdom.

Kylie's podcast episode was the most listened to.

And anytime Jason's girls pop in.

It's a win-win.

Fly Eagles fly into Chiefs Kingdom.

A Fairytale in Philadelphia.

    A Philly Special Christmas Special on YouTube.

Is there nothing Jason and Travis can't do?

Fly Eagles fly into Chiefs Kingdom.

Positivity, laughter.

Supporting each other through wins and losses.

That's what they're about.

When the Eagles fly into Chiefs Kingdom.

It's a family reunion.

So, keep flying Eagles. 

Flying straight into Chiefs Kingdom.

I love my shirt

.

.

.

 

GRATITUDE IS AN ATTITUDE

I am grateful to the administration for allowing me to live in this house. I am grateful to my staff.  Thank you for providing my care. I am grateful to have been given another chance with this agency. I am grateful to those who continue to support and believe in me. I am grateful to be able to share my skill set by writing for the agency's newsletter.

Gratitude is an attitude.

 .

I am grateful for the freedom that I have. I shop, I bowl. I create. I advocate. I pray for the people who live in countries that are less fortunate than I am. 

Gratitude is an attitude.

I  am grateful for this blog. This blog lets me share my thoughts with all of you. I hope it also helps raise awareness.

Gratitude is an attitude.

I am grateful for all the holidays I got to spend with my family. I have awesome memories. I hope that someday we'll be able to celebrate together again. I am grateful that this  year I will be celebrating Thanksgiving with my agency family

Gratitude is an attitude.

I am grateful for my friends. They listen to me. My friends kick my butt when needed. My friends never fail to make me laugh.

Gratitude is an attitude.

My Maltease, Lucie passed away on November 23, 2014. She was my comfort during my mom's illness as well as after her death. I still miss Lucie. I am so grateful she was in my life.

Gratitude is an attitude. 

I am grateful to all of the countries that take the time to read my blog. When I read the stats I am amazed.

Gratitude is an attitude.

Make it your attitude.

Peace.

HOW LUCKY AM I?

I am very lucky to still be living in this house by myself. I could very easily be in respite care. I thank God that I am not. 

How lucky am I?

Missouri is an "at-will" state. That means if the administration here chose to they could kick me out. Hello, respite care. I received my notice in the spring. My housemates are gone. I am still here.

How lucky am I?

I toured a house that was totally not power-chair friendly. Wheelchair-accessible houses are hard to find. That day I realized people \like me belong in nursing homes. That statement pushed disability advocacy back one hundred years. It is the way I feel.

How Lucky am I?

I came here with a stick up my buttt. I thought I was better than the other clients, I was too cool for school.  The truth is I am like them. They are like me. They are pretty cool. The stick was removed with the help of behavior therapy and common sense. We went to the movies. We saw Barbie. My new friend, Etta rocked out to the music. The movie was fun. The best part for me was watching Etta have fun  That's what it's all about.

How lucky am I?

I have been going out. doing activities with other clients. Today at the office, I made a stress bottle, hung out, and had some chips.

I have been invited to a client's birthday party next week.

How lucky am I?

There are staff members here who do not want me to leave. One staff member told me she'd start a petition.

How lucky am I?

I failed here. It's my fault. No one else's. I am afraid to try another group home. I am just as afraid of being in a nursing home I don't want to spend the holidays in a new place. I pray I am allowed to stay here for them.

How lucky am I?

If 2024 is predicting an LTC community for me. I want my friends to remember me here, on the patio sipping a Margarita and eating a cupcake.

How lucky am I?

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS

Resist the urge to throw them at someone. 

You do not want to spend a night in jail.

I hear Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire shouting, "It was a run-by fruiting."

You don't want that, do you?

When life gives you lemons

Put on your big girl parties.

Suck it up. 

Do what you gotta do to make it through the day.

 Move on.

When life gives you lemons.

No matter what.

Hold your head up.

Be grateful.

Not hateful.

Don't let anyone see your tears.

Don't let anyone know your fears.

When life gives you lemons.

Don't let the turkeys get you down.

I know that's old school

It applies.

Some things are out of your control.

When life gives you lemons.

You feel as though you are falling down Alice's rabbit hole.

The hole is bottomless

You just keep falling. 

Spiraling down, down, down into darkness

When life gives you lemons.

The lemons are hitting you so hard and fast.

You are afraid you will get a concussion.

Damn, those lemons.

 

You can do it.

You'll get through it.

The lemons will lose their sour taste.

Miraculously they will be sweet

That's what happens. 

When life gives you lemons.

 

THE FLIP SIDE

In my previous post, I discussed the positive aspects of living in a group home. I fought to get out of LTC. I went against my family. I would not listen to anyone. A group home was the answer to my prayers  I was sure of it.

I am not discounting anything I wrote in my previous post.  I enjoy living in a group home for all the reasons I discussed. 

Hindsight is 20/20.  If had known in 2018 what I know now I might have chosen to move to another nursing home when the activities and choice of meal options at the one I lived in were streamlined. I might have chosen a group home. I came here to live my life. There is always a stipulation or condition to everything I ask to do. They tell me I am an adult. I am my own person. Most of the time it does not feel that way,

I continue to enjoy writing for this agency's newsletter. I am grateful to have the opportunity.

 

 I am glad the staff can no longer take me to purchase my cocktails  All the rumors, finger-pointing, and blame will stop. If it was such an issue the policy should have remained I effect. Cocktails in a restaurant or with friends are more fun anyway.

I miss Happy Hour, the ice cream social, and pet therapy, (Dogs are not allowed in the house.) Ordering take-out with my tablemates and theme days. What I miss the most is talking to people.

Most of my resident friends have passed away. My staff friends have moved on. My old nursing home is under new management. It's not the same anymore 

I have the same feeling of apprehension and dread now that I did when I was told I was getting a roommate in the nursing home. The difference is all my staff friends stopped by on the day my roommate moved in. My therapist came by too. Everyone knew how upsetting getting a roommate was for me. Here, no one cares. It's not their problem. It's a business decision.

Reading this I am sure you are confused. I know I am. I do not know what would be the best option for me. I better decide quickly. August 1st is fast approaching. The only thing I know for certain is that I am scared.

I am disappointed in my case manager's lack of assistance. He put me on the list for an accessible group home but when it comes to researching and calling nursing homes that task has been left entirely up to me. It's embarrassing when contacts inquire about my case manager and tell me he should be making the inquiries for me. They want to know about my care plan. They want to talk to him not me. 

Today I am leaning toward going to a good Medicaid skilled nursing facility. Tomorrow I might lean the other way again. Waffling is my biggest problem.

When I talk about the things I deserve I am called an Elitist. I am better than no one. I want a good life and good care from staff who care.  I want the same for the ladies I have lived with for the past five years.

And if it's not too much to ask...

A patio, a Margarita, and good conversation. 

 

 

A PATIO, A MARGARITA, AND GOOD CONVERSATION

They are looking for a new place for me to live. There are lots of changes going into effect here. This is to become an all-male house. A man is moving in by August 1st even though my female housemate and I are still living here.  I  am scared because all the current staff appear to be leaving this house when the new housemate moves in. I hope this is not true.

My case manager told me there are no wheelchair-accessible houses available. I am on the list, but I may have to consider a nursing home. That's not what I want. I like getting my own vegan groceries. I like having my own room and toilet. 

I can no longer go to the grocery store with staff to purchase my weekly cocktail. My friends can bring them or I can go out to have one. Cocktails were never a part of the staff's duties. They were just being nice. The agency broke the rule for me. I will always appreciate that. Several months ago DMH said that I could no longer have alone time to go on unaccompanied walks around the neighborhood. Needless to say, I  have been bummed out. 

\ am 66 years old. People my age are enjoying their summer at the lake or by the ocean. People my age are enjoying their retirement.  I am scared. I am tired. I am healthy. We all know life can change in an instant]  At my age I should be able to live my life the way I choose to. It should not matter that I am disabled.

It does not take much to make me happy.  All I want is a pato when I can have a Margarita. I want to have a good conversation too.

I have had great times with my friends on the patio here. We shared Margaritas. We laughed until we could not breathe. I am grateful. I hope I will continue having fun times like these.

 

Birthday on the Patio 2019

 

Celebrating on the Patio in 2022

Celebrating on the Patio in 2023