A LOOK BACK...A LOOK AHEAD

At the end of 2011, I had finished the ten-week training session at the independent living center and was looking forward to being considered for part-time employment with them, after completing a six month volunteer period. Sadly, things did not turn out as I had hoped.  I view the year I spent there as a learning experience.  I am happy I had the opportunity.

I'm still a greeter at my library, a volunteer job I began in the summer of 2010.  I am now volunteering there three days a week and ( as of December 2012) I have logged the most hours of any volunteer there.

I had several book signings in 2012.  The most memorable one was at a cafe where I had the opportunity to meet the editor of the Ballwin-Ellisville Patch, an online newspaper.  This blog is now part of the Local Voices section of that online paper.  I feel honored because, while I don't live in the area covered by the paper, the editor thought my blog was unique and important enough to be part of the paper. 

Any disabled person who relies on caregivers has struggled from time to time.  It's a fact of life.  While I have had difficult times in 2012, I got through them and continue to live independently, 

My main goal for 2013 is to become a freelance writer.  I am taking small steps toward that goal.  I'll continue to try to do book signings whenever possible, as well as my blog and anything else I can to reach my goal of freelancing.

I want to continue to live independently.  I appreciate the assistance of my family and caregivers.  Their help is invaluable to me.

Whatever your goals are for 2013, the important thing is not to give up.  Believe in yourself.  If there is something you have always wanted to do, do it.  Don't listen to other people who may tell you your goal is unattainable.  Don't let others crush your spirit.  Even if you don't achieve your goal, you can still feel good about yourself because you know you tried.  If you give up without trying to reach your goals, you might miss out on some really great experiences.  I have probably said these things in previous posts, but as a new year begins,  they were worth repeating.

I don't have a lot of new goals.  In 2013,  I'll keep living my life the best I can. I'll continue to write. volunteer my time and try to help others any way I can.

What are your goals for 2013?   Have you thought about how you can achieve them?  If a goal seems overwhelming, break it down into small steps.  Take your time.  Do things at your own pace.

if you set a goal in 2013 and reach it, think how fortunate you are to have had the experience.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

WE ARE FAMILY

After the tragic massacre that occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary School, I didn't think it was appropriate to just write a Christmas post as if nothing had happened.  Twenty-six people died because a crazed individual went on a shooting rampage.  Twenty children won't be with their families for Christmas. 

 I want to share my thoughts. 

Everyone is busy.  So busy that sometimes we take the people that mean the most to us for granted because we assume they will always be there.  Then, we see a tragedy like the one in Newtown, Connecticut, and we realize just how fragile and precious life is.

I think we have lost sight of the fact that we are all one big family,  As a country, we need to support each other.  If you see someone struggling or in pain, lend a hand or show that you care by listening if someone needs to talk.  It could make all the difference in a person's life. 


Families need to sit down and talk to each other more.  Turn off the cell phones, put down the Ipads and video game controllers and talk about your day so that you know what is going on in each other's lives. Stop texting and start, talking.  Be connected to each other, not just your phone or the Internet.

I think we need to turn to God in prayer more.

What I've written in this post is nothing new.  Some of you may even find it corny.   I hope not.  I hope it starts you thinking of ways you might help or offer support to another person.   We will all need each other's help and support as we struggle to deal with this terrible tragedy.

Tell the important people in your life you love them.  Hug your children and make sure they know you love them and how special they are to you. 

This Christmas Season, my thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Newtown, Connecticut. Especially to the parents who lost their children.   I pray that someday we will finally have "Peace on Earth and Good Will to Men."

A DAY TO CELEBRATE

Monday, December 3, 2012, was the International Day of Persons With Disabilities.  It was a global event sponsored by the United Nations.  http://www.un.org/disabilities/default.asp?id=1597 

 If 15% of the people in the world live with some kind of disability and the disabled population is the largest minority group, why wasn't more done to create awareness about the day?

Sure, there was a program at the United Nations, and a proclamation by President Obama, but wouldn't it have been cool to see how people in the United States and countries around the world observed the day?  Wouldn't it have been fun to see it trending on Yahoo or Twitter?  I am disabled, and had it not been for a posting on Facebook last Sunday night, I would not have known about the day at all.

The purpose of the day was to raise awareness of the barriers the disabled community around the world still face, to discuss ways the barriers can be removed and to highlight contributions made by disabled people in society  We do not yet live in a totally inclusive and accessible world. I'm not sure we ever will.  For that to happen, everyone's mindset needs to change.  People need to see the person,  not the disability. And, let's face it, there will always be people in the world who will look at a disabled person and only see their disability.  It's sad but true.   

There were celebrations all over the world.  Why weren't they live streamed over the Internet or shown on the news?  Why did I have to learn about such an important day via a Facebook posting?

My hope is that someday all barriers will be a thing of the past and everyone will be thought of as equals.  That disabled people will live a world that is totally accessible and includes them in all aspects of life.  That we live in a world that always treats disabled people with respect and dignity.   That we live in a world where disabled people always have a voice and don't have to fight to be heard.  I hope that a child born today will be accustomed to seeing disabled people in their community, 

My dream is that someday there will be no need for an International Day of Persons With  Disabilities because all the barriers,  that now prevent disabled people from the equality they deserve, have been removed. Eyes have been opened and views have changed.  If we all work together maybe, just maybe, my dream will become a reality after all.

PLEASE PRINT

Every morning, in first grade, the teacher would print our names on the chalkboard and we were all supposed to print our name underneath.  My classmates were able to print their names almost perfectly. I couldn't.  My attempts to print my name looked like chicken scratches.    I knew what the teacher wanted, but my brain could not get my hand to cooperate. It was humiliating to have to try, and fail, every day while the other children were successful/

My teacher didn't realize how hard I was trying to print my name like everyone else.  She did nothing to encourage me.  I think that was disgusted by the fact that I couldn't print my name

This morning ritual went on for months. Finally, I did it.  I printed my name on a workbook.  The teacher saw what I had done. There were no words of praise to acknowledge what a struggle learning to print my name had been for me.  Her response was,  "Well, was that so hard?"   Clearly, she was clueless.

In second grade I learned to use an electric typewriter.  I didn't have to worry if I could write or not. I could express myself and complete my classwork like everyone else. 

I was chosen to have my picture in the School and Home Newspaper. using my electric typewriter.  This was quite an honor for a seven-year-old. The photographer and the physical therapist came to my classroom.   I was supposed to type as if no one was watching me.  The photographer snapped the picture.  my physical therapist got angry because I'd hit the wrong key. (This woman wore her hair in a bun all year, but she took her hair down once a year to be a witch in my school's Halloween parade. I'm not kidding. All she needed was a broom. The day the photo was taken, the witch appeared a little early.)  Why couldn't she have been happy that my picture would be published and that I'd be representing the school?

I know the teachers in the sixties did the best they could, but, I still wonder where the compassion and understanding was.  It took me a little longer than my classmates to learn to print my name but I did it.  That should have been what mattered,





   

INCLUSION IS A BEAUTIFUL THING

Sadly, there are still people in the world, who think that disabled children should not be mainstreamed.  They think that having disabled children in a class, with their able-bodied peers, is a distraction.  Teaching a disabled child takes too much of a teacher's time.   

Those against mainstreaming argue that the time should be spent teaching an able-bodied child. 

What about the positive things a child with a disability can add to a classroom? Children learn compassion, acceptance, and the importance of helping one another when a child with a disability attends class with them.  If children have a disabled child in a class with them, they will grow up with the awareness that a person with a disability is just like they are. 

l loved being a Brownie/Girl Scout.   The experience was one of the happiest times of my childhood.  The Brownie troop leader was a member of my church.  The week before I attended my first meeting, the troop leader talked to the girls about me.  I don't know what she told them,  all I know is they accepted me and always found a way for me to be a part of whatever they were doing.  The girls didn't see my disability.  They just accepted me as their friend. 

I'm sure you have heard about the high school student, with Down's Syndrome, who was voted homecoming queen by her classmates this year.    The fact that able-bodied students elected a young woman with a disability to be homecoming queen is awesome!  The students voted for her not because she was disabled, but because of the kind of person she is. The students saw a person first, not her disability.  I hope we see more acts like this in the future. 

 I attended a public school for the physically disabled for thirteen years.  I would have given anything had mainstreaming been an option back then.  Had I been mainstreamed,  I would have developed better social skills.  My grade school education was adequate,  My high school education left me unprepared for college.  

After my freshman year, the high school teacher left.  The teacher who taught Spanish, and Shakespeare and for whom writing a term paper was a requirement to graduate,  was replaced by teachers who only taught the basics. They did nothing to prepare anyone for college.  I understand why.  When you have students at all different levels of intellectual ability together, it would be difficult to meet all of their needs effectively.  I missed out on a lot, not only socially, but academically as well. The only positive thing about my high school years was that, in my senior year, I was able to take two courses at a community college in college preparation that fall.

I often wonder what my educational experience would have been like if I had been allowed to be mainstreamed.  Would being mainstreamed have made me a different person?  I'll never know how it might have benefitted me.

For anyone who thinks a child with a disability is a distraction in the classroom and should not be mainstreamed, remember the qualities I spoke about earlier.  Aren't those qualities we want all children to have?  If you think about what an able-bodied child can learn from a disabled child they are not a distraction in the classroom at all.  They will only enhance another child's educational experience.

A WAKE-UP CALL

There is an issue facing our county that is of great concern to me. That issue is the future of health care for the disabled. Medicaid.

While I'm not on Medicaid the majority of disabled people I know are.  Services should not be cut. all states should provide funding for Medicaid. 

I was watching the news last week when I noticed the crawl at the bottom of the screen.   If I read it correctly,  it said that the state of Missouri would begin considering putting disabled individuals into managed care facilities in 2013.  I'm assuming this means people with chronic or pre-existing conditions. 

Disabled people deserve good health care choices. They should not be penalized for not being able to work a full-time job.  And, they most definitely should not be warehoused in managed care facilities just to cut costs.

 Lawmakers forget that the disabled community is a community of people who deserve the same rights as everyone else.  The United States is always ready to help other countries.  Yet, lawmakers would consider cutting or changing services to the disabled citizens of their own country.  It just doesn't seem right or fair to me.

I went to a state agency several months ago and asked if I could get a little assistance from them in paying a portion of my monthly home care bill. I was told to get any help from them at all I'd have to be totally on Medicaid.  I have always tried to be a productive member of society. I can understand why a lot of disabled people don't work.  They are afraid of losing their government assistance. 

Having a disability is enough of a challenge.  Disabled people deserve to have a good quality of life.  They shouldn't have to worry about changes or cuts to their services.  Before lawmakers make cuts or changes to services for the disabled they need to stop for a moment and remember, "There But For The Grace Of God Go I." 

HOME IS WHERE MY HEART IS

People's houses are made of bricks, mortar, plaster, wood, and paint.  Four walls and a roof.   A place to live.  I have lived in the same house all of my life. My house is much more to me than that.

Behind a door in my family room, you'll see where my mom measured how tall my brothers and I were.  Our height is written in pencil with the year on the wall.   I remember being supported against the wall while my height was recorded.  Numbers and initials that wouldn't mean anything to anyone else, but they mean something to me. I find comfort in knowing they are there.

Thanksgiving was a joint effort between my mother and grandmother.  (Really all holidays were a joint effort between them.)  It meant getting out the big Nesco cooker to cook the bird in.  One year, the turkey was so big, the lid had to be tied down.

If I close my eyes I  see the living room decorated and the big Christmas tree in front of the picture window. I remember the year my dad got one of those silver trees with the rotating color wheel. My dad thought it looked great.  My older brothers were horrified.  Christmas Eve, they brought home the discarded tree from the neighborhood school.  It was HUGE and seemed to cover half of our family room because it came out so far, but we had a green tree that year. It was great!!  

Easter meant Mom's lamb cake.  It was a two-day process.  On the first day, she baked them in a cast iron mold that was given to my grandfather and was almost as old as my mother.  The second day she iced and decorated them. 

My last birthday party was given to me when I was ten. My cake had a ballerina figurine on top. My mom got a clown to entertain me and the other children. (I never liked clowns but this one was okay.)

My mom considered moving when I graduated from high school. She just made the house more accessible for me.

I close my eyes and I see everything.  The memories comfort me and bring me peace.  Living in the house I grew up in has allowed me to be able to function and build a life for myself since my mother's death two and a half years ago.  I don't know if I would have made it.  I know nothing lasts forever, but I do know wherever I go in the future,  The house that I grew up in will always be home to me.

PUSH GIRLS

Sundance Channel's new reality show, Push Girls, follows the lives of Tiphany, Auti, Mia, Angela, and Chelsie. Five women who don't let the fact that they are paralyzed and in wheelchairs stop them from doing anything they want to do.

After five minutes of watching the show, you realize that their chairs are just an accessory, much like earrings or a purse. (Okay, maybe that's a bad analogy, but you get the idea.) Their chairs do not define who they are. They are five women who face life's challenges with a positive attitude. The girls can do just about anything, they may just do it a little differently.

I cheered when Auti won first place in a ballroom dance contest competition. It was my favorite episode featuring Auti. It was so cool that she competed against able-bodied dancers and won! She had been a professional dancer before her accident. Auti taught herself how to do hip-hip dance moves in her chair and created a wheelchair hip-hop dance team called Colors 'n' Motion. The group puts on shows to raise awareness and show what people with disabilities can do. She had a role in the independent film, Musical Chairs, and is working on a CD. She calls herself a diva because she likes to take charge but, in my opinion, Auti is a diva with a heart of gold.

Unlike the other girls, who became paralyzed in car accidents, Mia became paralyzed when a blood vessel ruptured in her spinal cord. Before she became paralyzed Mia was a competitive swimmer. . My favorite Mia moment was watching her compete in a swim meet. Watching Mia achieve her goal of competing again was so thrilling. I was on Team Mia, shouting "Go Mia" as I watched. It didn't matter what place she finished in, what mattered is that she did it. Mia also went kayaking on a date. She was and is fearless. I cannot wait to see what sport Mia conquers next!

Tiphany attended her high school reunion which happened to take place on the same day as the anniversary of her accident. I think it took tremendous strength and courage for Tiphany to return to her high school and face her classmates. Then she had the courage to drive by the site of her accident and have all the feelings and emotions connected with that day come to the surface again. It was something she knew she had to do so she could move forward with her life. It was very emotional for Tiphany and her dad. I cried with them. I applaud Tiphany for allowing cameras to film such personal scenes.

Since her accident, Chelsie speaks at school assemblies about the dangers of drinking and driving. She has been interviewed by Seventeen Magazine. Chelsie also loves to dance. She would like to attend college and study communications and business. Her accident happened just over two years ago and the girls offer her support and friendship as she learns to deal with the challenges of her new life. My favorite episode featuring Chelsie was when the girls went high heel shopping with her. Just because you're in a chair doesn't mean you can't still be fun, sexy and feminine. Whatever Chelsie does, I know she has a bright future ahead of her.

Angela had a lucrative career in modeling before her accident. Her dream was to return to modeling. There aren't many calls for models in wheelchairs. One agency Angela called told her she could come in. When asked if they were accessible they told her the agency was accessible. The agency's idea of accessibility included a staircase. Angela didn't give up. Her tenacity paid off. On the season finale, Angela flew to New York to do a photo shoot for a national campaign for Nordstrom Department Stores. Angela's success is a perfect example of why you should never give up. With determination, you can achieve your dreams.

It took me a long time to finish this blog. Everything I wanted to say sounded cheesy. I wanted to say more than I love Push Girls and everyone should watch the show. I love it because the girls support each other. They are there for each in good times and bad. Push Girls shows that disabled people want the same things that everyone wants. To be accepted, to be loved and to be thought of as people first and disabled second. As the girls say, "If you can't stand up, stand out."

Thank you, Tiphany, Auti, Angela, Mia and Chelsie for letting us into your lives. Season one was awesome. I can't wait for season two.

www.sundancechannel.com/pushgirls

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADA

The Americans With Disabilities Act became law on July 26, 1990. The purpose of the law is to ensure that the disabled live in a society that is accessible to them. 

The ADA covers employment, accessibility of state and local government buildings, any restaurant or store as well as public and private transportation services. The law ensures that anywhere telephone services are given to the public, telephone relay services are given to anyone who is hearing impaired. In short, anything that is available to the able-bodied should be made available to those with a disability as well. No one with a disability should be discriminated against for trying to have their rights upheld.

The law has come a long way, but still has a long way to go, particularly in terms of architecture and quality transportation services. Last year, I went to a restaurant that had steps to get to the front door. The restaurant staff offered to pick me up in my motorized wheelchair and carry me up the steps to the inside. I declined their offer. My chair is heavy and I didn't want anyone getting hurt. There are many people with chairs larger than mine. Carrying a chair up steps can be difficult for those offering assistance and scary for the person in the chair. The restaurant staff then directed us to an entrance where I assume deliveries are made. I had to drive down a steep ramp and then go through the restaurant kitchen. When I was little going through a restaurant kitchen to get to the dining area was a common occurrence for me, but in 2011, I never dreamed I'd still have to go through a kitchen. When we left, I did let the restaurant staff carry me down the front entrance steps. because the ramp for the delivery entrance scared me and I felt being carried down the steps would be quicker and safer.

Earlier this year I wanted to have little chocolate teddy bears made as I was having a book signing. Since my children's book, The Busy World of Bianca Bear, is about the adventures of a little pink bear I thought it would be nice to have chocolate teddy bears on my signing table for anyone who stopped by. I called a candy store near my house and they told me they had teddy bears and I should come in and look at their selection. I wanted to stop in, but when we went by, the building was not accessible. I don't even think there was a curb cut and I know there was a step to get in. I called to complain and was given a voicemail. I left a message explaining my situation along with my contact information. I never heard from them. I was very disappointed that the store. didn't care enough to return my call and address my concerns.

I am fortunate enough to have an accessible van and caregivers to drive me where I need to go. Most disabled people are not so lucky. They must depend on public transportation, buses, and Call-A-Ride. I have been told the lifts on buses are always broken. I have also heard horror stories concerning Call-A-Ride. They can be either fifteen minutes early or fifteen minutes late in picking a passenger up. A rider must be outside and waiting no matter what the weather. Call-A-Ride maybe an hour or two late and it may be raining, but a rider must be outside waiting for the van otherwise the van will leave them. The rider will get a warning letter. If they are late again they will be suspended for some time. If a rider misses a van, it may be several hours before another van is available to pick them up. I know of someone who didn't make it to their doctor's appointment because Call-A-Ride was late picking them up. By the time they arrived at the doctor's office, the office was closed. Call-A-Ride left the person outside and it was getting dark. Thankfully, another van picked them up in a few minutes. A rider may have to transfer several times before reaching their destination. Again, they must wait outside, no matter what the weather, for the next van or the van will leave. My friend was hurt due to an inexperienced driver who didn't secure their chair in the van properly. Call-A-Ride paid their medical expenses.

Disabled people deserve safe, dependable transportation. There are a few accessible .taxis now, but they can be expensive. Every building needs to have a safely accessible entrance. I realize money is tight and budgets are being cut, but something needs to be done so that disabled people can continue to lead independent and productive lives.

BULLIES CAN HAVE A DISABILITY.

If you think kids with disabilities do not bully their disabled peers. You are wrong. If you think kids with disabilities are accepting and understanding of their disabled peers. Think again. Bullying is not just an abled-bodied kids' problem. Bullying does not discriminate. Kids with disabilities can be bullies too.

I attended a public school for the physically disabled from 1963 to 1976.  Every child who went to the school had a disability You'd have expected that the children would support each other. They would have compassion for one another because they understood what it was like to be disabled.   I am sorry to tell you that was not true. 

I startle very easily.  Any loud noise can cause me to jump.  Children intentionally drop books on the floor to see me jump and laugh hysterically. It was the funniest thing they had ever seen.  Some adults took great pleasure in making me jump as well. 

I was not boy crazy  I was wrapped up in the celebrities I saw on T.V.  I was made fun of. I was called names. I was laughed at by the other white girls in school. Had it not been for a compassionate bus driver who stood up for me when he witnessed me being made fun of. Had it not been for the friendship of several African American girls who accepted me for the person I was high school would have been a very lonely time for me.

I have a friend I have known all of my life.  We share the same disability.  We were very close when we were young.  My friend was allowed to attend a regular school long before mainstreaming became the norm.   During our teenage years, my friend began to distance herself from me, She chose her able-bodied friends over me. She was embarrassed by me.  I was the one who was disabled I used a power chair. My friend walked with crutches. My friend did not attend a "special" school. In her mind, my friend did not have a disability.

My advice to any young person who is being bullied is to find someone who accepts and supports you for the person you are.  You are unique.  Celebrate that. Be proud. 

Take it from me uniqueness or dare I say weirdness, is cool.   No one has the right to make another person feel inferior. You matter. 

To a child who bullies someone because they are different here is something to consider.  The way you treat people will come back to you positively or negatively.  Treat everyone with respect and dignity Be a friend to the new kid. Be a friend to the kid everyone in your class thinks is weird. Don't be a bully. Don't be a follower Set a good example. Be a leader.

Be kind. Be accepting. Be respectful. You'll feel so much better. 

I SOLEMNLY SWEAR...

I had to go to court last week.  The specifics of the case are not important.  However, the lesson I learned from the experience is. I learned that some people have no respect for the judicial process.  When some people stand before a judge, raise their right hand and swear to tell the truth, it means nothing to them.

I took going to court very seriously.  It's not something I thought I'd ever had to do.  It was very intimidating.  The courtroom looked similar to ones I'd see on T.V.  For a minute I thought, it wasn't real, but then my name was called and I knew it was. 

The judge listened to both sides and I won my case.  All I kept asking myself was, "How could the other person involved in the case not have told the truth?"  I won.  I should have been happy. It should not have mattered to me that they lied to try and prove their case, but it did. 

I have been told people lie every day.  That's sad.  What kind of message does that send to children?  Tell the truth, but if you are in some kind of trouble that might have serious consequences for you, it's okay to lie.  Say anything you have to that will prove your case and get you out of trouble.  Even if it means breaking an oath in court. 

I hope the message we want to convey to children is to always tell the truth and admit when you have done something wrong.  The consequences will be far less if you do.

I know some of you are reading this and thinking about how naive I am.  You are wondering why I would waste an entire post writing about how some people lie to keep themselves out of trouble.  I wrote this because it was important for me to share my feelings.  Thanks for indulging me.

The issue is that of respect.  Respect for yourself and others.  If you lie you have no self-respect.  And without self-respect you have nothing.

DANCING QUEEN

June 1, 2012, was a day to remember.  It was the day my nephew Tony married, Liz, the woman of his dreams.  It was the day two awesome people joined my family.  Liz and her daughter Hannah.

They say that her wedding day is the one day in a woman's life when she feels like Cinderella.  Liz truly looked the part in her beautiful gown and Tony looked so handsome in his tux.  When they were pronounced husband and wife. I was so happy.   I was glad I got to be there to share in their joy.

I enjoyed catching up with out-of-town family members, I enjoyed the delicious meal that was served, I enjoyed listening to all the toasts and speeches that were made in honor of the bride and groom and I also enjoyed dancing.  No, that's not a typo.  I said dancing.

Tony and Liz came over to talk to me.  We took a picture together.  Then Liz said, "Tony, don't you think we should get Joanne out on the dance floor?" 

I'm sure every person in a wheelchair has chair danced at one time or another.  The last time I had done it was at my high school prom in 1976.  At my prom, it didn't matter how I looked dancing because everyone there was disabled.  No one cared if you looked stupid.

Tony asked me if it was okay to take me out on the dance floor.  I was nervous. "I guess so," I said.   We were waiting for the DJ to play a good song for us to dance to when Proud Mary came on.  "Oh, Joanne, this is the perfect song for you because it's ROLLIN'."

They each took turns controlling the joystick of my chair.  I was spinning and moving back and forth in time to the music.  I was laughing so hard.    We sure hadn't danced like this in 1976! It felt great! I was really dancing.  People tell me all the time that my chair is old and doesn't move very fast.  It certainly was moving and spinning fast that night.  I got a little dizzy.  It was most likely caused by the spinning, the excitement, the rum and coke I'd had, or a combination of all three.  Whatever the reason, I wouldn't have stopped for anything.  We danced the entire song.  I was a little sad when it ended.

I have been to countless weddings in my life.  At the receptions, I was always a spectator, never a participant.  This time I got to participate, to be included, to be just like everyone else.

Thank you, Tony and Liz, for giving me a memory that will last a lifetime.

FOR THE LOVE OF LUCIE

I hate it when people tell me my Maltese Lucie is "just a dog." Lucie is so much more than that. She is part of my family.

Lucie joined my family in 1999 after the death of our Maltese Frosty. Two large dogs that had gotten into our yard had viciously attacked Frosty. 

We had an invisible fence for Frosty. When Frosty wore the collar for the invisible fence he couldn't leave our yard, but other dogs could come in. 

Frosty lived for a week in an animal hospital. His injuries were too severe. Frosty died.

I was heartbroken. Frosty had always been near me. Either he was lying beside my power chair or sitting in my lap. Whatever room I was in, you could be sure, Frosty was nearby. I desperately wanted another Maltese. My mom wanted to adopt a dog from the Humane Society in hopes that the dog would be trained because she didn't want to have to train a puppy.

Mom saw how much getting another Maltese meant to me. She relented. We began looking in the newspaper to see if anyone was selling Maltese puppies. My mom found a breeder who had one female puppy left located in Bourbon, Mo. We agreed to meet the breeders in Washington, Mo. to pick the puppy up. Friends from church drove to Washington with us to pick her up.

The first time I saw Lucie she was a little white ball of fur with big paws. When they placed her in my lap her little pink tongue began darting in and out. I had eaten french fries while we waited for Lucie to arrive and she licked the salt off of my fingers. Thus began her love of human food.

Lucie quickly became a doggie diva. She slept in bed with my mom. She refused to be put in a dog kennel when we were not home. She flunked obedience training. She refused to play with other dogs because she considered herself to be part of our family, therefore she thought of herself as a person, not a dog. Lucie had us right where she wanted us and she knew it. Mom and I spoiled her rotten.

Whenever my mom was in the hospital Lucie was my emotional support. Sometimes the only way I could fall asleep was by feeling her little body near mine. Lucie also gave me something else to consider as I knew she depended on me to oversee her care. 

When my mom was in hospice care, every night when she went to bed, she would ask, "Where's Lucie?" Our caregiver would put Lucie in bed with my mom so she could fall asleep. Now that my mom is gone, I'm the one who asks, "Where's Lucie?" every night.

When I come home she is always barking and has lots of kisses for me. When I leave I tell her where I am going and that I'll be back soon.

Lucie has many faults. She barks too much, begs for food, and still has accidents from time to time. She's not a service dog in the traditional sense. She hasn't been trained to pick things up off of the floor and bring them to me. Lucie does, however, give me something just as important. Lucie gives me unconditional love.