IT'S 2 A.M. AND I'M COUNTING SHEEP

There are nights when I fall asleep before Perry Mason has solved the case. There are other nights when Perry Mason morphs into The Twilight zone. The Twilight Zone morphs into Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Alfred Hitchcock Presents morphs into Mannix. There are even nights when Mannix morphs into Cannon. (Yes, I love classic TV. Don't judge.)   Gasp.  It's 2 a.m. I am still awake counting the imaginary sheep that are floating by over my head.

I think about Omnicon. This house is on lockdown at the present time We have been advised to stay in our rooms. We have two staff who are working extremely hard to meet our needs while keeping us safe. This house has been deep cleaned from top to bottom. (I love the clean smell of Lysol and Clorox wipes.) These two staff members are making sacrifices. They are risking their health day after day They are doing an amazing job under very trying circumstances. I do not know when the lockdown will be lifted. Omnicon is scary. It got real for me when it hit some of the staff who work here.

I miss seeing friends and family. The only positive aspect of lockdown 2022 is I don't have to go out.  The cold makes my spasticity worsen. I tighten up I have a difficult time driving my chair.

I think about my future. I wonder where I will spend my final days.  Hey, I don't mean to be a downer. Going to that Big Fiesta In The Sky is a part of life. It's just another journey. I am kind of excited about it. No more worries. No more powerchair. Seeing my family and all the dogs I have loved throughout my life. 

Before I make my final journey, however, I  want to be in a place that's happy. A place with lots of light. A place where the staff truly cares and loves what they do. It would not hurt if the staff would bring me junk food and a margarita every day. And, I want lots of visitors. Both human and furry. I want to watch The Odd couple and Designing Women 24/7. Those shows make me laugh out loud. I love laughing until it hurts. That's the best feeling in the world.

I think about what my life would have been like if I'd had the privilege of being a wife, a mother, and a grandmother.  I would have lived in a two-story house that was totally accessible. Yep, I would have gotten the elevator I have always wanted. And, as far as my parenting style. I would have been firm, but fun.  My children and grandchildren would have shown love, respect, and acceptance to everyone because they grew up with a mom/grandma on wheels.  

Fairy tales are a crock. Prince Charming does not exist. My husband, If all this had come true, would have been a hard-working regular guy who loved learning new things. He accepted my CP and loved me for who I am. Warts and all. 

I plan trips. Bustin' out. Calling a friend. One of us is Thelma, the other Louise. (Driving off a cliff is not part of our adventure.) Just hop in a van and drive. Who knows where we'd end up? Casa Azul in Mexico? Wherever. It'd be crazy.  It'd be fun. It'd be worth it. 

I think about taking a flight in a hot air balloon. Hot air balloons are magical. And Loud. I'd be scared to death being in that little basket. If I did not have CP. a flight in a  hot air balloon would be so cool I bet I could see for miles. I wonder if they would let me take a flight at dusk?

I think about being a journalist, like Carrie Bradshaw. Seeing my column published weekly. Working from home and getting paid. Living in New York, Going to see the latest exhibit at MOMA. Soaking up the culture. Meeting new people from all over the globe. And, cool clothes. Lots of cool clothes. 

Whew, no wonder I can't sleep!