Monday, April 11, 2022

65 BIRTHDAYS


65 birthdays. I am excited.

 In a few days, I will have celebrated 65 birthdays.  I will be celebrating with friends I have not seen in a few years. I know we'll have an amazing time.

When I was young my birthday represented another year to accomplish all the things I wanted to do.

It also meant trying to hit as many restaurants as we could. The goal?  To get as many free birthday desserts as we could. Free dessert? My mom was in. 

Our conversation went something like this:

"Mom, my birthday was a week ago." "What"s the difference? They don't know that," she"d reply. Mom's birthday was two weeks after mine. That meant the free dessert thing would go on another week or two after hers. I would be so embarrassed.  Now it makes me laugh. There was, however, one stipulation. No singing, please. The servers at a restaurant sang Happy Birthday to me once. I was mortified.

65 birthdays. I am tired. I am over having caregivers. I am so done with hearing their phone conversations while they care for me. I am over them scrolling through their Internet feed. I have tried to explain how it makes me feel. They don't get it. I feel these activities are more important to them than I am. I am over being cursed at, yelled at, and ignored when I speak to my caregivers.

My caregivers are amazing people. I like them. They are smart and funny. I do not always like their behavior.

I do not look forward to sharing a room in an LTC facility.  While there is more staff in a nursing home,  the space must be shared. I know that and I accept that. I hope to become a volunteer at a nursing home. I have a lot to offer. I hope I will be allowed to prove that. I want to be a part of the LTC community again,   

I miss my mom. I don't know what God has in store for me, but I guess God is not ready to call me. I have asked him to. I hope whatever his plan for me is I make Him as well as myself proud.

I want to do something meaningful for the remainder of my life. I want kindness and understanding from those who take care of me, The majority of the staff that I met when I was a nursing home resident were extremely kind and helpful. I am still in contact with many of them.

Two celebrations. My friends and I will eat, drink (The margaritas will be flowing.), and be merry. Meaning I want to laugh until I can't catch my breath. I want my 65th birthday to be epic. I want to forget about all the negativity. I want to focus on the positive. I want to be happy 

65 birthdays, 65 years. Can you believe it? I am still here.

Does anyone have a Margarita?  Let's get this party started.

To contribute to my fundraiser for VOYCE:

To learn more about VOYCE:



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