MI FIESTA

I have been obsessed with Mexico ever since I watched Telenovelas on Netflix. I wrote a blog post about my favorite Telenovela. 

http://confessionsofadisableddiva.blogspot.com/2017/05/escape.html 

I am learning Spanish. Don't be too impressed. 

I can recognize words. I know what the words mean, but my pronunciation is horrendous. I won't be conversing in Spanish any time soon.

I wanted to have a party for the staff. I wanted to thank them. I wanted to leave this facility with good memories and positive vibes. I wanted to have a Mexican Fiesta. I thought it was tacky to ask my friends to throw. a party for me. I was talking with a friend here.  She encouraged me to tell my friends. that I wanted a Mexican Fiesta goodbye party. The worst thing that could happen was that my friends would refuse. I could live with that.

Sometimes it is okay to ask for want you want. I learned that real friends don't think it's t tacky when you ask them to throw a Fiesta for you. My friends were as excited about my Fiesta as I was. The invitation was online before I knew it. My dream of having a Mexican Fiesta became a reality.

Surprisingly staff and a few residents came. Everyone had a great evening munching on nachos, and cupcakes. and drinking Margaritas. I will remember my fiesta as an evening filled with laughter and fun. Thank you, Ellie and Laura. The food was delicious. Thank you to all who came. Your presence meant a lot to me.

My fiesta was more than food, friends, and fun  I learned some valuable lessons from it.  Sometimes it is okay to ask for what you want and need if it means a lot to you. go for it. Ask. If you don't you will always wonder what if.  That what-if could be awesome. You'll never know. unless you take a risk and ask. It is okay to, do things that make you happy. Your friends might just want to see you happy too.

I  thought no one liked me here. I always thought I was viewed as a problem. Turns out the staff likes me. I know it's true because of all the hugs and good wishes I have received.  When they say they will miss me, they mean it.

I thought there was nothing good about me. I was wrong. I am funny. I love to laugh. I enjoy doing things to make other people happy. I am a good person. I deserve to be happy. It has taken a long time for me to believe that.

Gracias. mi amigas.  Yo soy muy Feliz.

BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT

Six days. That's all the time that I had left here. July 1st was just around the corner. 

My social worker was going to begin packing up some of my things and take them to my new address. Friends and family were going to move the rest of my things on the First of July. 

I had been asked if I was temporarily comfortable using a Hoyer Lift until the Sara Lift I had been approved for arrived. Hoyer Lifts freak me out. Since it would only be temporary I agreed. I had confidence in the aides at the house. They were kind and caring.  I believed they would do whatever was necessary to alleviate my fear. I  had been asked. if I wanted to move in a few days earlier. I declined. There were a few events I wanted to be around here for. I  had a lot of goodbyes to say. I'd already started. 

Then I got the email. Due to a computer upgrade my transition file could not be located. Recovering my file was doubtful. If my file was not found my case manager would have to rewrite and resubmit my transition plan. My July 1st exit date probably would not happen.  My case manager could not give me a new exit date. I reread the email several times. I was stunned. How could this be happening? Didn't they back up important documents at my case manager's office?  Wasn't there a hard copy of my plan somewhere>

I am not proud of my behavior the night I received the email.  It was not pretty. With no new exit date I envisioned myself having to spend another holiday season here.  

I spent the following day trying to process the fact that my file was missing and that I no longer had an exit date. Processing meant I treated myself to more than one dessert. I watched movies most of the day.

I decided that waiting was okay. I was informed the longest I would have to stay here was a month. That would give my case manager time to get my Sara Lift into the house and rewrite my plan. 

Two days later my plan was located. I received a copy only to discover that my plan contained incorrect information. I wanted to review the plan with someone. I wanted the errors corrected. I was given a consent form that everyone involved with my plan was required to sign. If I signed the form I could move on  July 1st. Due to the errors in my plan, I refused to sign the form. My new exit date is August 1st. I am comfortable with that date. My case manager and  I are meeting in a week or so to review my plan and make the necessary changes. I have been assured that my lift will be in the house by August 1st.

It has been an emotional roller coaster. I was given earlier dates to move into the house. Then, I wasn't moving because my plan could not be located. When my plan was located. I was moving.on July 1st again. I asked to be sick with the August 1st exit date. The final date.

I want to thank Kristine, my social worker for working so hard on my behalf. Kristine took care of all the phone calls and emails to keep my stress level down. She has been my advocate during this transition process, making sure my needs were going to be met. Her support has been invaluable.  I want to thank the staff at Creative Concepts for understanding my needs and concerns. I want to thank my case manager for agreeing to meet with me so that my plan can be finalized. I want to thank my family and friends for offering to move my things. I know how busy you are. I appreciate your help more than you know.

There was nothing I could do when my file could not be located. All I could do was have faith,  keep calm, and carry on.