LIFE'S A DREAM

I wish I could move away. Move to a place where no one had been briefed about me, and no one has an opinion about me. A place where no one read my ISP. A place where no one knows anything about me. Not even my name until I told them.

A fresh start. An adventure. A clean slate.  Just me and a friend, for moral support, doubling as my PCA. That is the part I would not tell her until she agreed to go with me. Sneaky, aren't I?

I've watched YouTube videos of people with disabilities who've moved across the country, away from family and friends, to start a new chapter in their lives. I admire their strength, their fearlessness, and most of all their courage. They face the unknown with excitement rather than fear.

I've researched. Southern California I love to research and learn. (Oops, my bad, I forgot to mention that I'd want to live in Sherman Oaks or Studio City.)

Southern California has an independent living center. I would reach out to them to find an accessible apartment, PCA services, and accessible transportation services for someone on government assistance. I'd ask if I could work for the center from home. I'd be a great asset as a writer for their newsletter.  https://www.scrs-ilc.org/?fbclid=IwAR0_zeA39N4Jg-VuKmsLII9IRm6hBrO7uUdgkuHjo3372-G3PfhyAGxZZ3A

I chose Southern California because it's a beautiful place with palm trees, warm weather, and every once in a while, maybe I'd get to see the ocean. I have amazing California memories. The Santa Monica Pier and The Farmer's Market are two of my favorites. I am sure both have changed a lot since I visited them many years ago. 

I am too old. (It's a fact.  I am getting bifocals in about three weeks. Nothing screams elderly more than bifocals.) I am too fearful. Fear has kept me from doing so many things. I am/was my own worst enemy.

To start fresh in warm, sunny California would be the best.

All of you reading this are probably shaking your heads thinking I am totally insane. You are wondering why I am wasting a post about a dream that will never become a reality? In all honesty, I can't believe I am writing a post that's so personal to me. I did not overthink it. I just began writing. This post is the end result. 

I know there is no way I can move anywhere (except back to a nursing home.) much less Southern California. It's the planning, dreaming, and researching that keep me going during difficult days.

Then there is that little voice in my head that tells me, "probably not, but then again..." I should tell that little voice to shut up. I don't. I kinda like it. 

Dreams provide me an escape. That little voice in my head?  That's hope,