THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP

I want to tell you about some friends of mine. Each of them is special. Each of them has taught me a lesson that I will take with me.

My first social worker here was Nancy. I knew from the beginning that she cared about me.Nancy always made time to talk with me.  Even after I was assigned a different social worker, Nancy's door was always open to me. She listened,  She offered advice when necessary, She fought for me, She encouraged me.  Nancy believed that I would be approved for residential placement even when I didn't.  She taught me to stay focused and determined. April 27th was Nancy's last day here. There was cake. There were pictures taken. It was difficult for me to say goodbye. I only have a few weeks left here. I am still because Nancy won't be here to ask me if I am okay.  I will always remember what she taught me. Stay determined. Stay focused,. Believe in yourself.

"I eat chicken, fish, and turkey." That's one of the first things I said to Julie, the dietician when she visited me to discuss my food preferences. I don't really remember when I began hanging out in Jule's office to talk. It just sort of happened. I tell Julie my frustrations about living here,  I run ideas for blog posts by her.We talk about life in general. She is busier now, We don't get to talk in person that much anymore., I email her. .Julie taught me not to obsess over my weight.  I try, but I am afraid I am not succeeding. The monthly weigh-ins are extremely stressful for me. She taught me not to worry so much about other people's opinion of me.  She taught me that it's okay to be myself.

I got to know Lydia, the director 0f the activities department when I began attending happy hour on a regular basis. Lydia's goal is that the residents here have fun and are happy. .Every Friday, while she is mixing drinks, Lydia's is dancing, and clapping to the music, encouraging the residents to do the same. I asked Lydia if she would make me a Caipirinha, The National Cocktail of Brazil, for my birthday. When I  googled the recipe I changed my mind because the recipe said the liquor used was difficult to find. I was afraid it would be expensive. Lydia not only got the ingredients needed to make the cocktail, she also watched videos to learn how to make the drink properly. I asked her why she would go to all of that trouble for me. "Because it made you happy. I like making people happy It's what I was meant  to do." Lyda taught me the importance of doing things to make other people happy. In return, I'll make myself-happy.

"Where ya been, Little Lady?' That was how Chris greeted me every afternoon when I returned from volunteering at the library. She no longer calls me Little Lady. She is the only one allowed to call me, Jojo T.  The truth is, even though  I hate nicknames, Jojo. T.  has grown me. Just like I don't remember when I started talking to Julie, I don't remember when I began talking to Chris either.  She walked up and down the hall carrying a laptop. I asked what her job was.  The rest is history. Chris is crazy in a good way. I see her and I smile. I never know what she is going to say. Chris taught me that it's okay to be silly. Age is just a number and that I never have to grow up entirely. Being around Chris has brought out an aspect of my personality that I never knew existed. I can be funny. .Chris and Julie are the reason I  write fairytale journals. Chris and  Julie are the reason my alter-ego, Prudencia exists. And, most importantly,  Chris and Julie are the reason I love sushi.

Thank you, Nancy,, Julie, Lydia and Chris for making my life better here. I am glad I came to this facility. If I had not been a resident here,  I never would have gotten to meet you  I consider each of you my friends. I hope that you'll come visit me. No, Chris, I will not send a limo for you.

Thank you for you for giving the greatest gift. The gift of friendship.



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BIRTHDAYS...NOT JUST FOR PRESENTS ANYMORE

I celebrated my sixty-first birthday recently. Last year, on my sixtieth birthday my friends, visited with a cake and gifts. My family gave me gifts as well. Friends stopped by throughout the day with birthday wishes. It was a fun day.

This year was much more low key. .Very few people came by. There were gifts, but not as many as last year. That's the way I wanted it.

This birthday was not about a cake or gifts. This birthday was a time for reflection and giving thought to how I want to be remembered. In 2013, I wrote a blog post titled  My Legacy.  https://confessionsofadisableddiva.blogspot.com/2013/03/my-legacy_18.html  In the post I talked about being remembered for my Bianca Bear stories. I said that 50 years from now I hoped that children would still be reading and learning from Bianca Bear. Bianca Bear as well as my Diva Blog were and are a part of my legacy.

I became an advocate for people living in long-term care facilities. I hope I raised awareness concerning conditions in nursing homes. 100 years from now I hope that no one with a disability is warehoused solely because they require assistance with Activities of Daily Living. I have been given a second chance. In six weeks my new life will begin. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for giving me this opportunity. I  realize how fortunate I am.

I hope I am remembered for my kindness and generosity. I would do anything that I could to help anyone.  I am always giving things away. It makes me happy to buy something for someone. I do not like to see someone upset. I want to try and fix whatever is making them unhappy.

I hope I will be remembered as someone who tried. I have tried to live the best life I could.  I have made a lot of mistakes. The important thing is I did not give up. If I had given up,  I would not be at the place in my life that I am now, Preparing to leave this facility.

My legacy. Writing. Kindness, Tenacity.  I could not have asked for a better gift.

WELCOME HOME

"Welcome to our family.  We're so happy that you want to live here.." With those words, the staff, as well as my housemates, welcomed me into what will be my new home.  The aides who will be caring for me introduced themselves to me./ They shook my hand.  I was overwhelmed.  It was at that moment that I knew everything was going to be okay.

I will be sharing a ranch-style house with two other women around my age. We each have our own room. My room is big with plenty of closet space. There is a common living room and we will share the kitchen. The bathroom is big. It has a door. No more privacy curtain for me.

I knew I was going to live in this house before I toured it.
The house is in a good location for anyone who may want to visit.  I hope I have lots of visitors. If I want to take Call-a.Ride so that I can be totally independent rather than having one of my house staff drive me to my destination it is in their area of service as well.

My housemates and I are free to do our own thing.  I can have my meals when I choose. We are not required to eat together. It will be like living alone but with the staff there to assist me.  My housemates and I have one very important thing in common. All three of us want our own space, privacy, and independence. We all want to live in a quiet, peaceful environment.

I will be opening a bank account. I am looking forward to learning how to budget my money. I will be responsible for buying whatever I need that insurance does not cover.  ,  It is a goal of mine to publish another book.   When I need assistance, someone will point me in the right direction to finding the resources I need.  Everyone affiliated with the house strives to make sure that those of us living there are happy and leading the kind of life we want to lead.

The Staff who'll be caring for me have two weeks of training.  The staff knows about CP.  I will be able to tell them how best to care for me so that I am comfortable.  I have met two of the house staff so far. They were interested in me. They treated me like a person. I choked up quite a bit the first time I visited the house. Everyone was so kind. I was told I can do anything I want.  This will be my home. When I heard those words I was speechless.

It will be two or three months before I officially move in. My case manager has to get the equipment I will need to live in the house.  A transition meeting will take place and paperwork has to be submitted. I have been assured I am really moving. There is no turning back now.

Three and a half years ago I thought my life was over.  I have been given the opportunity to start a new life. I am patient. I can wait.   Wait for the day when I can finally say, "I'm home."









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