Shhh. Don't tell anyone. My guilty pleasure is watching Dr. Phil show videos on Youtube. His guests fall into one of three categories for me.
2. Those who are looking for their 15 minutes of fame.
2. Those who are looking for their 15 minutes of fame.
When I was in school the busses were not equipped with lifts. A board was put down. Those who could not walk were carried off the bus and put into our chairs. The bus attendant let the board fall with a loud bang. I was on the bus waiting for it, holding my ears. Holding my made me feel better. Not sure why. Holding my ears did not stop me from startling. It just reinforced my nerd reputation.
The bus attendant would unexpectedly exclaim, "POW!" He'd laugh hysterically when I jumped. I was confused. Didn't adults know better?
There was a short time in grade school when the milk cartons were triangular with a hole in the middle for the straw. Any empty carton, when smashed, made a loud pop. My classmates loved popping the cartons. They also loved seeing me startle when they did. An added bonus. As you can imagine. during that time, lunch ceased to be a favorite part of my day.
My family loved the fourth of July. I regret that my startle response kept them from enjoying fireworks the way other families did.
Fast forward to November of 2021. I am sitting at the kitchen table deeply engrossed in a Youtube video on my Kindle. I am, minding my own business, BOO! I jump, my heart going into my throat, anxiety, making me feel nauseous. I look up. I ask the offender why they would do that?
They tell someone here, "I scared her ass."
When I try to explain about m, my heart jumping, etc. I am told they were just messing with me. They tell me I'm still living. They tell me I am carrying it too far.
They are adults. Shouldn't they know better? The little girl inside of me still wants to know.
According to Microsoft Bing Although the Moro reflex typically lasts from birth to 3 to 6 months of age, this response generally remains into adulthood for those with cerebral palsy, due to the neurological differences present in those who live with the condition.
I still remember that day in my child psych class when I learned about the Moro reflex and CP. There was a name for it. It was not my fault. It was a part of my CP.
If I startle in front of you please do not make a big deal of it. It's nothing you did. I would love it if you would just pretend you did not notice it.
Please do not laugh. I am embarrassed enough.
Please do not make me startle on purpose for your own amusement. Doing so is mean-spirited. It is ablest as well.
Show empathy.
Show compassion.
How would you feel if someone made you Jump, then laughed?
Be kind.
Be understanding.
Be respectful.
Oh, and one more thing, ask me questions. If you want to know something about me or My CP. Be polite. Start a dialogue. Maybe someday people will understand.
All group homes, in the State of Missouri, fall under the umbrella of the Department of Mental Health.
I have resigned myself to the fact that everyone here knows my business, discusses my behavior, and this agency has the right to give me thirty days' notice if my behavior doesn't comply. I have accepted that. I am working hard. This placement has to work for me.
I am always told to be e the bigger person. I am older than the staff here. I am tired. It's getting old. I am doing my best to get along with the staff here
My housemates show me what courage is on daily basis. Living in this group home has shown me how blessed I am. I hope my housemates know that they can always count on me to be their advocate.
I have a DNR. The Department of Mental Health will not allow my DNR to be enforced in this house. This means that if I stop breathing in this house the staff is required to perform CPR whether I want it or not. Outside of this house, my DNR will be honored.
I will visit my doctor. We will discuss a form revoking my DVR in this house. If I do not comply by signing the form. I will be given thirty days' notice by this agency. I shake my head. I ask myself, "Where does it end?"
I am tired of having care. Being pulled on, Using the Sara lift. It's necessary. It's getting old. I am tired
Life is a gift. I have had an awesome one. I am ready for the stress of needing caregivers to be over. That is God's decision. He must still have something for me to learn. He must have something left for me to do.
The staff works hard. I am thankful for their care. Many go above and beyond for their clients.
As for the DMH I have one question.
Where does it end?
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