CARPE DIEM

2020 taught us that our lives can change in the blink of an eye,  We've always known it. COVID-19 has shown us how fragile and fast a blink is. 

The positive lessons I learned in 2020 are:

Life is short

Appreciate family and friends

Do the things that bring you joy

Be proud of who you are

It's okay to be weird and crazy

You don't need a lot of friends

One or two who get your  weirdness is enough

Laugh a lot

Don't let anyone steal your joy 

Carpe Diem

Seize the day

Happy New Year!

 

ROCKIN' AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE

Christmas 1970.  I received The Partridge Family's first album that year. It was the first album I'd ever gotten.  I'd bought 45's but never an LP. This was a big deal.

I became, like every other girl my age, obsessed with the series, and David Cassidy. Besides buying their albums I had a subscription to Tiger Beat's Official PF Magazine, and I became a member of their fan club. I am proud to say I had a full set of PF bubblegum cards and even a PF comic book  Was I a fan or what?

When the cover of my copy of Tiger Beat's  Special David Cassidy edition came off,  my grandma made a new cover for it. She also helped make. a PF scrapbook. She'd cut the pics out of magazines. I'd glue them onto the scrapbook pages. (More about my cool grandma later..)

In November of 1971, The Partridge Family's Christmas album was released. I told my mom I wanted to buy it. She told me I'd get one for Christmas. Not before Christmas. What?  She could not be serious.

"But Mom," I wailed, "what good is a Christmas album if you get it on Christmas? I will only get to listen to it for a day. Christmas will be over. I'll have to wait a year to listen to it again. All my friends are getting it now. I'll be the only one who isn't." (Yep I said it)

"I don't care when all of your friends are getting it. You're not getting it until Christmas," my mom told me. She meant it.

My grandma had broken both of her hips. She used a walker. She'd not done her own Christmas shopping for many years. My mom did it for her. While I was wailing about how I'd die if I did not get The PF Christmas Album before Christmas the album was safely tucked away next door at my grandma's house. My grandma planned to give it to me.

When my grandma heard about my plea to get the album early she overruled my mom and gave it to me. (My grandma was the most awesome person on the planet. My grandma's cool factor that year was off the charts.)

I remember the green album cover with snowflakes on it. The slot held a Christmas card from the cast The back cover featured a photo of  Shirley Jones and David Cassidy done in snowflakes. All was right in my world.

I think my mom loved that album even more than I did. Playing it became a tradition for us. She enjoyed the entire album/ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree was her absolute favorite. She'd dance around in our living room while I feigned embarrassment.

I listen to The Partridge Family's rendition of Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree on YouTube every year. This year I listened to the whole album via Spotify. I teared up.

It is Christmas at my house. Her favorite Christmas album is playing. My mom?  She is dancing her heart out.

Image Credit: Amazon Music

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I DON'T NEED SHINY AND NEW

The halls of the house have been officially decked out for Christmas. Money was donated to buy new decorations. All shiny and sparkly. Three mini trees. One for each of us. I turned down the new decoration. 

My tree was given to me by my friend Nancy. She gave it to me for my first Christmas here. A white tree stands in the living room of the house. My housemates chose it. Don't misunderstand me. White Christmas trees are cool. I am not trendy. I am old school. Christmas trees are green.

My mom painted the wooden ornaments the entire year after my father died. They were on our tree for our first Christmas without him. I can still see her sitting at a card table painting them while we watched TV. I can't imagine having a tree without her ornaments on it.

My paternal grandparents owned a grocery store. This Santa looks dapper, in his white boots. He was the Coca-Cola Santa one Christma. My grandparents gave him to me. I think I was about four years old. I remember stroking his beard the entire day. Santa stood proudly on our coffee table at home every year.

My Christmas stocking. isn't it cute?

 By the time I arrived, the pattern that my mom used to knit my brother's stockings had been discounted. No wreath and candle for me. I got a snowman. My stocking is smaller too. I love my stocking Sixty-three Christmases. It looks as good as new.

Lucie loved Christmas. She went crazy the year her stocking arrived filled with treats. Each year after that whenever she saw her stocking she knew Santa was coming so she'd better be on her best behavior. Santa never forgot her even though Lucy was never on her best behavior.

These decorations remind me of eating Ravioli and The Pasta House Salad on Christmas.Eve. I ate my mom's burned Christmas cookies for dessert. (A little charcoal never hurt anybody.)  Opening presents. My brother gave me a bottle of Electric Reindeer. My family. Laughter and fun.

Vintage decorations. The history.The memories. Those decorations are the best.

 

 

MARGARITAS ANYONE?

A friend came to visit me shortly after I moved into the nursing home. I was complaining about how I did not belong there. I was complaining that I did not want to be with old people

It was at that moment that Suzanne rolled past us. My friend saw Suzanne and said, "She seems nice. You should try to be friends with her." 

Suzanne has a presence. I don't know if a person can look regal driving a powerchair but Suzanne does. Everyone knows who she is.

The fact that she lives in a nursing home didn't matter. Her hair and make-up were always done. Her outfits and earrings always matched. Suzanne is high maintenance. (in a good way.)  I liked the fact that being in a nursing home hadn't changed who she was. Being in a nursing home had not altered her sense of style. 

Over time we became friends. We sat on the garden patio with the rest of the residents who lived on that floor. Suzanne and I started sharing a table at Happy Hour. We talked about how lame some of the entertainment was. We both adamantly refused to play Name That Tune Bingo during Happy Hour.  (Sorry Lydia) 

From Margaritas to Hurricanes, the two of us would be there almost every Friday even after I moved here.  Until COVID that is. No one cared if we got a little tipsy.  Dinner was right after Happy Hour so no worries. 

Suzanne will try to help anyone. Whatever challenges life throws at her. She takes it in stride. She has lived in a nursing home for over ten years. I have rarely seen her in a bad mood. Suzanne takes things in stride.

The last time I saw Suzanne was in March of 2019. I will miss seeing her over Christmas and in the New Year'.  There is no one to have a drink or two with here. (I am the only client at this agency who is allowed alcohol)) There is no one to joke with about how lame things are.

Each year since I left I have looked forward to celebrating Christmas and New Year's Eve.' at the nursing home. Ringing in the New Year at noon is not so bad. I am getting too old to make it until midnight.

Suzanne always asked me if I was coming back the following week. The last time I visited she added, "Every time I hear a crash I think of you." We counted the number of dishes that were dropped during dinner. Forgive me, dietary staff. I gotta say it is nice to be remembered. 

Suzanne, raise a glass for me this holiday season. I will be raising one for you.  

MY TWO CENTS

 

Today is International Day of Persons With Disabilities. 'I guess I'm old. I do not a day to celebrate myself. The happiest day of my life will be when we won't have to raise awareness or teach anyone. if society does not know we are people of value and worth by now, they never will. My Facebook post on December 3, 2020.

It's almost 2021. I am tired of educating,, explaining, and being viewed by some as an inspiration. That really makes me uncomfortable. I have done nothing inspirational in my life. (The health care workers who are putting themselves at risk during this pandemic are an inspiration.) I have just lived my life

I was not aware of this day. My first thought when I saw a post about it was when are all of these disability awareness days going to end?

Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I am unique, This means that my viewpoint on an issue about disability is the opposite of everyone else.

Here are my two cents on an international Day of Persons With Disabilities/Disability Awareness Days.

We say we are equal to our able-bodied peers. If that's true then why are we always calling attention to our disabilities?

Awareness days will not make a difference in whether we are accepted or not. In my opinion, all of these disability awareness days may have the opposite effect. They may turn people off. I have CP. My second thought when I saw that Facebook post was, Oh God, not another one.

I do not think we will ever be truly equal to or accepted by our able-bodied peers. That's just how it is. We need care and assistance most people don't. We need accommodations that most people don't.

If we want people to see us for who we are. We need to focus on our accomplishments. Everything we do does not have to be linked to our disabilities.

If a person with a disability has the determination to achieve a goal then go for it. All the disability awareness days in the world won't make a bit of difference. How they present themselves to society, along with their skills and abilities, That's what will matter.

I am not a radical (fight the system) kind of person. You won't see me marching for disability rights. That does not mean I don't support those who choose to do so.

I believe people with disabilities should be treated fairly and equally in all aspects of life. I am just not sure that celebrating disability awareness days is is helping us in achieving our goal.

men

NEW WHEELS 2020

I  said goodbye to an old friend. A friend who had been with me for 20 years. A friend who'd seen me through deaths, hospitalizations, entering a nursing home, and moving to a group home.  Except for having my friend's parts replaced my friend had never given me.a bit of trouble.

My friend was dirty. Scratch that. My friend was filthy. The dirt and scrapes my friend had endured symbolized how hard they'd worked for me. The many miles we'd traveled together.

People would ask, "How old is your chair anyway?" And then declare, "You need a new w chair." 

"It still runs. It still gets me from place to place. It has never failed me," I'd reply. My friend and I  would roll away giving the offending person no chance to reply.

I have a new friend now. It took over two years for us to meet. My new friend is a shiny pink bubblegum color. They have a horn and the joystick lights up like Christmas lights.

My new friend came equipped with a better back, seat, and cushion to help my posture. My new friend has two speeds.  The turtle graphic on the joystick means slow. The bunny graphic means get out of the way.

You may think it is silly of me to refer to my new powerchair as my new friend. My powerchair is my legs. It gets me where i need to go. Without it, life would be a lot harder. So, yeah, it's my best friend.

 A (not so fun) fact: The batteries for powerchairs are now made in China. It takes four months for them to get to the United States. I will take very good care of my chair's batteries. Count on it.

I hope my new friend is with me for the next 20 years. 

Okay, New Wheels 2020. Let's roll.

OH TIFFANY, OH TIFFANY

Gail, Tiffany, Debbie, and me

"Who let her back in here? We're going to have to put a sign on the door. Joanne's not allowed back in here. She drinks our liquor, (As this photo illustrates I will even try to drink a Margarita made out of cardboard. I have no shame!) eats our food, and uses our scale Why is she allowed back here?"

It was with these loving words that I was greeted by Nurse Tiffany every Friday when I arrived for Happy Hour.

Allow me to explain a few things, to you Tiffany. Do you have a moment?

I came to the nursing home each week to spread joy and happiness as only I can. Can I help it if I was offered a Margarita and snacks?  It would have been rude of me to refuse. I even have my own Margarita glass there. I eat dinner with my friends to get the latest nursing home scoop. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The scale on T-3 and I have an understanding. It knows not to go over 112 lbs. 

If Tiffany did not call me Trouble or give me trouble I would have thought there was something wrong. I looked forward to her good-natured harassment every week. I miss it. 

When I lived in the nursing home I rolled across the hall to ask for her help more times than I can count. Tiffany never made me feel guilty, She never was short-tempered. She just got me the assistance I needed. She helped me even though I was not on her hall.

During this holiday season help someone even if they are not your responsibility. Make someone smile. That's what Nurse Tiffany does every day.