FILE THIS UNDER MISCELLANEOUS

 Dogs/pets are not allowed inside the house unless they've been approved. This rule does not bother my housemates. It bothers me. Knowing  that I share some of the blame for this rule makes me feel even worse

I learned a cold, hard truth. Not everyone was raised like I was. A person either has empathy or they don't. I have to accept that fact.

The staff here does not have to talk to me, answer me, look up from their phone when I speak to them, or allow me access to their personal property. (puppy)  I was hurt and shocked.  I get it now

All the staff is required to do is provide care. They do an amazing job. (The staff deserves hazard pay during winter storms They show up no matter what.). That's all I can ask for. I apologize to the staff member for not respecting her wishes. It won't happen again. In the nursing home, the staff talked to me and my fellow residents. Feeling connected is so important. I hate being treated like I am just a body with no feelings or emotions. That's what I am here  That's another bitter pill for me to swallow.

There is a silver lining. Dog are allowed outside of the house. If when you visit, you feel so inclined, bring your fur baby during the spring and summer. 

I fell off the wagon. (Calm down. I did not literally fall off a wagon. I thought all of you knew me better. Me, on a wagon?  Please how undignified.)  I had dessert. Chocolate pie. A  cocktail too. Gasp!  The weird thing is I did not enjoy the cocktail that much. The dessert, however, was a whole other story. I am back at it until April. Although, I really enjoy vegan meals. I may just continue to eat that way.

Thanks to Hulu I  have become obsessed with the MTV show Catfish. Nev and Max were a  great team. Funny too.  I am bummed that he left the show.  What's fascinating to me is the way the stories unravel   This has no relevance to anything. I just threw it in. 

Sometimes a blog post is just a blog post of my wacky introspective thoughts. Sometimes, my alter-ego, Prudencia comes out too.

File this under Miscellaneous.

DOG SPELLED BACKWARD

 

The word dog spelled backward is God. Dogs are angels on Earth  God is not physically with us. Dogs are.

Dogs are not property. They are living, loving beings. All they ask for is unconditional love. If you give them love, a dog will give it back to you tenfold.

There is scientific evidence that petting a dog can lower a person's heart rate and blood pressure. Petting a dog is calming. Being around a dog can brighten someone's day  That's why many LTC communities have pet therapy programs Some even have pets in residence.

A staff member has been bringing her Yorkie to work with her for the past few days. The puppy is so sweet and loving. Having him visit makes my day.

I know she does not have to allow me access to her puppy. Every time she allows me to pet her puppy is a gift. I hope she knows how much I appreciate it.

When I annoy her or make her angry she will not allow me to pet the dog. 

That's just about the worst thing you can do to me. Not letting me show love to a dog if there is one around. You know the staff is not required to answer when I speak. That is another big trigger for me. Caregivers don't realize the power they have.

Some people think a dog is just an animal.  Lucie, as well as the dogs who came before her, were a part of our family. Lucie had her own Christmas stocking and she also got a little ice cream on her birthday.

I hope she realizes what a gift her puppy is. How loyal he will be to her. How she will never be alone when he is around. And, there is nothing better than snuggling with a dog when you are sad or do not feel well.

Please do not ever treat him like your property.

Take care of the angel you've been entrusted with. Look into his eyes. You'll see his soul.

YOU ARE GOLDEN

 

Dear Joanne,

I  am your past. I am the person you were in the year 2022. I am about to turn Sixty-five. For you, the year is 2027. You are about to turn seventy years old I think that's the age our grandmother was when we were born. 

Unbelievable Isn't it, Grandma? Oh, don't get your panties in a wad. Just a little humor.

What advice can I give you?   Let's see...

When you were my age you said you would rather be in a long-term care facility or in a hospital. You said you'd rather be in Hospice than live in a group home. You know that's a sin, right,? Don't wish your life away. 

At the same time, I get it. 

My hope is that by 2027 you will be in a facility that employs people who get it.  People who get you. People who will care for you with kindness  If you are not in a nursing home I hope that means you've accepted your living situation.     I want you to be happy. I want you to be cared for by people who are caregivers because it's their calling. Corny I know, but I have to believe caregivers like that exist. I hope there is a small private patio you can roll out to from your room as well.

That's why I wanted to be on Hospice. I saw first-hand how kind and caring those ladies were to Mom. Remember the Hospice worker at the nursing home? She always took the time to talk with me. She always took the time to give me a hug. I was not one of her residents. She just did it. 

I am so over having caregivers, aren't you?  More strangers have seen our butt. Can you relate to this scenario? " This is your new staff member. (whose name I am told, but two seconds later, I have forgotten.) She is going to observe your shower." (Whether you like it or not.) I inwardly groan. It's such a pain, but we just have to suck it up and go with it.

I hope that Alzheimer's did not steal your mind from you. I get confused sometimes. I can't remember things as quickly as I used to. I pray at seventy, you are still engaged, and that. you are interested in books, art, and all the other things you love.

You wonder what your life would have been like if God had not chosen to give you CP.  You'll never know. Instead, think of all the lives you have touched because God chose you.

You'd better still be writing in 2027!!! Don't let your typing finger get lazy. Writing has been and will continue to be a good creative outlet for you. You can create any life you imagine for yourself  Just picture it in your mind and then write the movie that you see.  

However, no matter how much you love the world you create in your mind, don't forget to check in with reality from time to time. If you don't you might start getting a little blue pill before bedtime. Who wants a little blue pill? LOL

Speaking of blue, don't let a beautician use that hideous blue rinse on your hair. You are not meant to be an old blue-haired lady!

Keep posting on this blog.

You Are Golden.

Everything will be okay.

 

YOU'RE ENOUGH

Dear Joanne,

I am you in the future. The year is 2022. I am two months shy of turning Sixty-five. I know that this fact is blowing your mind. You are about to turn fifteen For you the year is 1972.

I want to tell you some things that I wish someone had told me at fifteen. The sad thing is I probably would not have listened. I hope you will.

A potential employer is not going to give a flying fig that you know the lyrics to all of Sonny and Cher's songs, have all of their albums, have seen every episode of their variety show, and that you've seen them in concert twice. Cool stats, but useless knowledge for a job interview.

I know you envision yourself to be the next Rona Barrett. It pains me to burst your bubble, it's just not going to happen for you, Find something that you are passionate about. Pay more attention to what's going on in the world 

Interviewers want to know how you'll be an asset to them as an employee. They'll ask you where you see yourself in five years. You'll finish school at twenty-five. when you are asked this question in a job interview don't sit there with your mouth open and tell the interviewer you do not know. Have a plan  Be ambitious. Be everything that I wasn't Don't spend your summers swimming and watching soap operas Volunteer somewhere. Maybe someone will see past your CP, maybe they won't. But you have to try. 

I do not mean to be so hard on you. You can still have fun, be the great person you are, just balance it out. You want people to see you are a smart, intelligent young woman who just happens to have a disability. Not just a pop culture airhead.

If I had done the things that I am advising you to do my future might have been different I might be in a group home right now. I don't want that for you.  

Mom needs you as much as you need her. She doesn't want to be alone. However, it will be good for both of you if you go away to school. You'll get used to strangers taking care of you. Don't leave all of your care up to Mom until she physically can't do it anymore. Give her a break.

What is the definition of a successful person? Most people base an individual's success on financial gain. If that's true, I am a failure. Success can be anything that brings someone personal fulfillment. That's what this blog gives me. It's not award-winning. It's the little blog that could.

Don't let anyone ever make you feel like there is something wrong with you. Something that needs to be fixed. You're enough. You're good enough.  Don't give up!

I am proud of you

Love,

Your Future Self

I APPRECIATE YOU

When you tell me to talk correctly.  I appreciate you. 

You do not know that I worry that the day will come when I will not be able to talk at all. 

When you stare at your phone when I am talking to you without answering me. You tell me you heard me without looking up from your screen. I appreciate you.

When you are assisting me, but you have your phone on speaker. You try to assist me using only one hand. I can hear you. I can also hear the person you are talking to. They can hear what is going on while you are assisting me. I appreciate you. 

When you ask me who I think I am?  I ask you to please put down your phone until you've finished assisting me. You get angry. You tell me I don't pay your phone bill. I don't sign your paycheck. I can not tell you what to do. You end by telling me that if this agency was a Black agency that they would not put up with me. I feel somewhat confused and a little offended by that statement. I appreciate you.

When you tell me you are not going to wait on me hand and foot. If I want a meal I should come to you. I appreciate you

As long as my needs are met that's all that matters I have been told that over and over since moving here.

Things will be good for a while. Then you'll be obsessed with your phone or you'll ignore me when I speak to you. Your behavior will annoy me until I say something. You'll get angry. I'll cry. The end. It's a little dance that we do. The Joanne/Caregiver Dance.

I know I am just a series of tasks to you. Tasks that you have to complete before the end of your shift You forget that I am a person. Or, maybe, you really don't care?.

I appreciate all of you. Wanna know why? Well, for one thing, you have made me realize how happy I am to no longer have a cellphone. But the main reason I appreciate all of you is you show up. You can't stay home if there is inclement weather. You sacrifice  And, at times, risk your lives to get here. I appreciate your dedication.

When I tell you to get home safely when your shift ends, those are not just words, I really mean it.

I appreciate all of you because you have a very important job. You are the reason I am able to live my life. 

Thank you!

FROM SOCIAL WORKER TO ADVOCATE

"What would you do if one of our girls turned your chair over?" the interviewer asked me. I was interviewing for a position at a psychiatric facility. I would have been working in the adolescent and teen girls' wing.

My mouth fell open. I am sure I looked like an idiot. "Um, I think we're done here," I replied. (How professional of me.) 

I steered my power chair out of the interviewer's office. I never looked back.  The dream I'd had of becoming a medical social worker died. on that Friday in the '80s 

If I am completely honest with myself, that dream bit the dust long before that fateful interview. That dream ended before I finished grad school. 

I got good grades on my coursework I understood the concepts of empathetic understanding and active listening.

What I had trouble doing was advising or counseling someone about how to find a solution to their problems. When we roll-played counseling sessions in class I froze I had no clue what the appropriate response should be.  I aced my final video counseling assignment only because it was filmed on the last day of class. The professor brought us wine and cheese to celebrate. I had a glass of wine before my video was filmed. Everyone laughed as they congratulated me on how well I had done.

On the day of graduation, I was happy, but on the inside, I was terrified. How long would it take me to find a job?  Would I find one?  Would everyone realize that academics aside, I really did not know what I was doing?

I took classes on how to answer job interview questions, I sent out resumes, and I spent countless Saturdays taking exams to qualify for social work positions with the State of Missouri. I was offered night positions in psychiatric facilities. Nothing else.

I know that I would have been an asset to the hospital where I had been a patient in 1968. My internship there was the best part of grad school for me. I like to think I made a difference while I was there. The group I'd led with the teen and adolescent patients was very rewarding. The hospital would not consider hiring me. I did not have two years of work experience. 

 I am an advocate for the elderly and disabled  I am focused on helping the residents of long-term care communities. I know what it's like to live in a nursing home. My goal, before my time on Earth, is done, is to make a positive difference in that community no matter how small. I am still figuring out, how to make that happen.

 To all of the staff of long-term care communities, The job you've chosen is an important one. You assist residents in living the best lives they possibly can. Not everyone could do the job you do. I know you must be stressed. I am sure your residents see it as well. I just want to remind you to always treat the residents you care for like the person they are. They are not just bodies or tasks to be completed.  If you get a phone please wait until you finished caring for someone to take the call. Treat your residents, the way that you would want to be treated.

To the families of residents do not forget your loved one. With Covid, lockdowns, and inclement weather residents of nursing homes may feel isolated and depressed  Send them a little love. After all, it is almost Valentine's Day. I can guarantee that they never forget you.