I am in elementary school. The loud unexpected buzzing of the fire alarm causes me to jump. My heart is in my throat. I feel anxious, as well as a little sick to my stomach, from my startle response. We are taken out into the hall to the nearest exit. It was just a drill.
When I was in school the busses were not equipped with lifts. A board was put down. Those who could not walk were carried off the bus and put into our chairs. The bus attendant let the board fall with a loud bang. I was on the bus waiting for it, holding my ears. Holding my made me feel better. Not sure why. Holding my ears did not stop me from startling. It just reinforced my nerd reputation.
The bus attendant would unexpectedly exclaim, "POW!" He'd laugh hysterically when I jumped. I was confused. Didn't adults know better?
There was a short time in grade school when the milk cartons were triangular with a hole in the middle for the straw. Any empty carton, when smashed, made a loud pop. My classmates loved popping the cartons. They also loved seeing me startle when they did. An added bonus. As you can imagine. during that time, lunch ceased to be a favorite part of my day.
My family loved the fourth of July. I regret that my startle response kept them from enjoying fireworks the way other families did.
Fast forward to November of 2021. I am sitting at the kitchen table deeply engrossed in a Youtube video on my Kindle. I am, minding my own business, BOO! I jump, my heart going into my throat, anxiety, making me feel nauseous. I look up. I ask the offender why they would do that?
They tell someone here, "I scared her ass."
When I try to explain about m, my heart jumping, etc. I am told they were just messing with me. They tell me I'm still living. They tell me I am carrying it too far.
They are adults. Shouldn't they know better? The little girl inside of me still wants to know.
According to Microsoft Bing Although the Moro reflex typically lasts from birth to 3 to 6 months of age, this response generally remains into adulthood for those with cerebral palsy, due to the neurological differences present in those who live with the condition.
I still remember that day in my child psych class when I learned about the Moro reflex and CP. There was a name for it. It was not my fault. It was a part of my CP.
If I startle in front of you please do not make a big deal of it. It's nothing you did. I would love it if you would just pretend you did not notice it.
Please do not laugh. I am embarrassed enough.
Please do not make me startle on purpose for your own amusement. Doing so is mean-spirited. It is ablest as well.
Show empathy.
Show compassion.
How would you feel if someone made you Jump, then laughed?
Be kind.
Be understanding.
Be respectful.
Oh, and one more thing, ask me questions. If you want to know something about me or My CP. Be polite. Start a dialogue. Maybe someday people will understand.
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