FOLLOW UP (I NEED SPACE)

 

I have the utmost respect for the director of this agency. They gave me a job and have allowed me to remain with this agency as I continue to work on myself.

 A post written in anger serves no purpose/ I attacked the director's reputation. The reputation of this agency. When I go to the office I see firsthand how hard the director works for everyone. 

My previous post was revised to advocate for all of us who live in an ISL I owed that to this agency. I owed the to the director.

I was almost given 30 days again. The difference this time is that I made a phone call. The director and I talked like people.  Two hurt people. I heard the hurt in their voice. The director could hear the hurt and fear in mine. I felt like the unfeeling person I was for writing my previous post. The director is not responsible for the rules of the State of Missouri. The director can only do so much.

The director and I are meeting at the house next week to brainstorm how to make it more accessible. I don't have to move right away. The director told me not to worry or stress. I am not going to. I know everything will work out.

I'm glad I wrote my previous post. It led to a phone call that allowed me to see things in a different light. People do care. Even when I don't see it. They are just doing the best they can.

I NEED SPACE

The State of Missouri.

Are you Listening?

I need space.

Missouri has to do a better job

As far as government housing goes.

Don't penalize me because I am on Medicaid.

I  need space.

Wider doorways.

Wider hallways

Big bathrooms too.

To accommodate lifts, powerchairs, and caregivers

I need space.

Obviously, the State has no idea.

The needs of a powerchair or manual chair user.

I need space.

What if there's a fire?

I need to get out fast.

A narrow hallway,  I can't get past.

I need space.

The State's solution?

Move into the house.

The State needs to see that there is a need. 

Before they agree to make the necessary changes.

Then move out while renovations are being done.

Then move back in.

I need space.

Move three times?

Missouri's out of their minds?

Do they realize how hard that would be?
I don't think they do.

I need space.

I have one question before I am done.

It's for my state representatives.,

Would you want your loved one to move three times?

I need space.

This post is titled  I Need Space.

A more accurate title would have been, "We Need Space."

Because all of us who use mobility aids do.

I urge you to call your representatives of the State of  Missouri,

Tell them...

We Need space.

Contact your state legislators: LWV Of Missouri |

 

THAT'S ME

 Last week was a whirlwind of planning, activities, and emotions. I finally had to say enough! My transition meeting is on the 12th. This agency wanted me to move on the 13th. I co-taught a 3-hour training class on the 8th. On the 9th, I was scheduled to see the new house. By the night of the 8th, I felt sick and exhausted.

On the morning of the 9th, I was still exhausted. It hurt to raise my arm to feed myself. I did not go to see the new house.  

Transition meetings can be long.  It's a lot. A meeting where I meet new people talking about my future. A meeting like this wears me out. I am now moving on the 21st. I can take it slow and chill out by taking walks around the cul-de-sac 

I was told if a house was found in this area I could move back to this area.  I appreciate the offer. When I move again it will be to an LTC community. I lived in the same house for 57 years. When all is said and done I want to live in a facility where I can just "be."

I am an introvert. I don't talk much. I don't like to be pushed. I am most comfortable writing and watching movies. I love the few close friends that I have. I don't like parties. They tend to be loud and crowded. Meeting new people makes me anxious.

I am grateful to still be a client of this agency. For the past year and a half, I have done everything to prove to the administrator that residing my 30-day notice was the right decision. I hope I succeeded in doing so.

Two high points for me in the past week:

I learned that the residents of an exclusive nursing home in this area read my fired-up blog post and wanted to meet me. They were disappointed I was not a resident. I guess I got them "fired up" too.  

My post was deleted by Facebook. I am an introvert who is a rebel. I couldn't be prouder.

I'M FIRED UP!!!

"For the second time in two years, Gov. Mike Parson has vetoed multimillion-dollar funding increases that would support a program advocates say safeguards nursing home residents. Missouri’s long-term care ombudsman program organizes workers and volunteers to advocate for and educate residents at hundreds of nursing homes and skilled nursing facilities. Administrators said the program has fewer than half the recommended staff members."

Thank you St. Louis Public Radio for covering this topic! We will continue to fight for the best Ombudsman Program possible in Missouri, and we will continue to fight for the rights of long-term care residents!

Read the full story here: https://www.stlpr.org/.../missouri-mike-parson-ombudsman...(Courtesy of Voyce)

I should have followed through with becoming an ombudsman. The class times and using public transportation were the big reasons why I didn't. As you know I wrote essays for Voyce about what life was like in long-term care. My essays were used in their training sessions. I gave an interview which was shown in the training sessions. I could have done more. I didn't. After reading that Governor Parson shot down an increase in funding to the understaffed LTC facilities I am fired up. You should be too.

This agency told me I have to move. I do not want to live in a male house. Moving is not the issue. The issue for me is only being given one option regarding where to move. (You have these two choices. Of the two choices where would you like to move to? I would have chosen the best house for me. Not being given a choice is what upsets me.)

If there was a good nursing home in this area that's where I would be moving to. Not because I want to live in LTC. Because it would be my choice. I said from the time I moved into this house when I moved from here it would be into a nursing home. Conditions in nursing homes are too uncertain. I won't risk it. Not now anyway. So, on August 13th, I have to move/ Everyone is telling me it's not a big deal. I'm not doing any of the work. It is a big deal. It's my life.

I'm grateful to the administrator for believing in my writing. The past six years have been a struggle but I have always had my writing.

I am ashamed of the bashing/trashing I did in blog posts on long-term care. If I could go back in time I would not have written those negative posts. I may have moved into a different nursing home. Knowing what I know now I would not have moved here.

I visited someone in a nursing home about a month ago. The conditions were. deplorable. The facility smelled of urine, it was dark, and CNAs were still getting people up at almost noon. The person I was visiting did not wear their glasses. I did not see their wheelchair anywhere. I wondered if the staff was getting them up at any point during the day.

Some nursing homes are dirty, and residents are given one meal option. The activity budget only allows for one activity. That activity is Bingo.

I am embarrassed that Missouri is a red state. Governor Parson should be ashamed. Vetoiing an increase in nursing home funding is inexcusable. In 2019. when I moved from LTC conditions were starting to get bad. The facility was staffed with agency help. Help who did not know much about the residents they were caring for. They were there to do their job nothing more.

People on Medicaid are not given private rooms because they cannot afford to pay for one. This is the biggest issue I would like to see changed. Everyone deserves to live comfortably. Everyone deserves to have the best staff caring for them. Everyone deserves to have choices. Choices in food, choices in activities.

Residents in nursing homes have lived their lives. Many worked, raised families, served their country, and more. Older adults should not be penalized because they cannot pay for a private room. Residents deserve the best caregivers. People in LTC deserve choices.

There are some lovely nursing homes in the St. Louis area. Those facilities do not accept Medicaid. That discriminatory policy has to be changed.

Nursing homes were like a family community. Residents looked out for one another and advocated for one another. If we work together they will be again.

Contact your state legislators: LWV Of Missouri |

Get involved with Voyce: https://www.voycestl.org/

Vote Blue in November.

THE MANY SIDES OF ROB DURHAM

Rob Durham was a castmate of mine in the 2015 production of Listen to Your Mother. The show is a spoken-word stage show celebrating mothers usually performed over the Mother's Day weekend.  All I knew about Rob was that he was a high school teacher,  He is also a comedian who headlines at the Funnybone regularly.  I attended one of his shows recently.  The house was packed.  Rob did not disappoint. But wait there's more. I  had so many questions. Such as what the heck is pickleball?  Thank you Rob for taking the time to do this i nterview.

Who/what inspired you to become a comedian?

I watched a lot of comedy on TV growing up. Louie Anderson was one of my favorites, but I also like MTV’s Half-hour Comedy Hour. My family is a funny family. My father has a very dry sense of humor and my mother was goofy. When she passed away, suddenly I felt the need to be heard by others and I eventually cracked out of my shyness as adulthood began. When I got a college job as a doorman at the Columbus Funnybone, I first realized stand-up was a realistic opportunity.

What was your first open mic experience like?

My first open mic night went great because I stacked the crowd with friends who laughed for me. I won a $30 prize in a clap-off. The second week was the opposite, but by then I was hooked

Do you remember the first joke you told that got a laugh? 

There are a couple and I’m pretty ashamed of them as they were either not very PC or they were kinda dirty. It’s embarrassing to think back to what I used to pride myself as an act! Thank goodness I never put a comedy album out back then.

How long does it usually take for you to write a monologue? 

My hour set is compiled of jokes I’ve written over the last decade-plus, but this year I’ve added at least a new 15 minutes. When I get a premise, I try to word it into a joke. Then I test it at open mic night, tweak it, memorize the best way to word it, and then eventually it makes it into my set (or gets scrapped). Some jokes take a lot of work, and some are born almost perfect as they are.

You teach creative writing at a local high school. 

How long have you been teaching? 

I subbed all through my 20s, but I officially have 13 years of full-time high school teaching under my belt. Along with creative writing, I teach multiple sections of tenth-grade language arts which also involves a lot of writing.

What do you enjoy most about teaching? 

The creative freedom I’m given to teach my lessons allows me to “perform” in a sense every day. Often times I think I have more fun than the students, especially when we’re reading a play and I get to be a character. I really love watching a high school student evolve from a child into a respectable young adult.

How did your school's golf team do this season? 

We placed 2nd in the State Tournament! We were undefeated in our 9-hole matches, we won the conference, and several other tournaments, and had a great 2 days at State. I couldn’t be prouder.

How does your being a comedian help in teaching your classes?

Many of my lessons have jokes built into them. I make a lot of silly puns to keep them groaning. Teaching is definitely performing (in my room anyway), so it’s my job to keep every student engaged in the lesson. I know if I’m bored teaching the lesson, they’re bored learning it. This motivates me to keep things fun. The kids also know I’m pretty good with hecklers, so they’re smart enough not to mouth off very much.

Do your students ever write jokes for you or give you suggestions? 

They inspire some of my material with some of their actions. As far as material, there’s been a time or two where I say something and they say, “Put that in your act!” In my creative writing class, our final assignment is stand-up comedy, so I have them each write two original jokes and then we hold an open mic in my classroom. It’s really fun to see take on the challenge of stand-up and I think it gives them more respect for what I do on stage.

You have authored four books. One on doing stand-up, a novel for young adults, another novel for adults, and a guide to taking an all-inclusive vacation. Which book was the most fun/challenging to write? 

Writing Around the Block, my YA novel, was the most fun because it started very autobiographical. I also learned how to structure and edit a novel in that process, so it really opened my eyes. I feel like it gave me some closure on some animosity I still held from high school because since that book came out I rarely think about or get emotional about my high school experience anymore. Somebody Else’s Sky was the most challenging because of the number of drafts it took to get it right. Finally, I switched from first to third person and ironed out all of the logistics in the plot and it turned out exactly how I wanted it to.

Is pickleball similar to bocce ball? 

Pickleball is more similar to tennis, badminton, or even ping pong. It keeps me busy on the weekends and during the summer. Once I learned to stop taking it too seriously I started improving dramatically. Much like writing, if you have a mentor, you improve much faster and I’ve been fortunate enough to have several pals elevate my game.

Besides the start of the school year, What’s next for you?

I’m hoping to publish a collection of 25 to 30 short stories along with a few of my essays. My novel ideas are there, but taking on a novel takes a huge commitment, so I noticed I have quite a few short stories from years past. I’m almost done tuning them up, so I hope to keep the momentum going once the school year begins. Don’t tell my principal but I’m a much more productive writer at school than at home. I love sharing my short stories with my students too. The stories mostly focus on the interesting times right before or right after a relationship, and some of them are loosely autobiographical. 

 Check out Rob's Amazon page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B008EJF1ZI?ingress=0&visitId=b89744fa-0c96-4180-b734-059e9648c5b8&ref_=ap_rdr

HOW'S IT GONNA FEEL?

I never liked to leave home.

Not even to go on vacation.

I thought I'd die in my house.

Ten years ago I had no choice.

How's it gonna feel?

When I was told I'd be sharing my room in the nursing home.

I asked for Lexapro.

To help me cope.

( I still, take it.)

How's it gonna feel?

When the staff starts packing up my stuff.

The last night?

The day of?

How's it gonna feel?

The agency wants to make this house an all-male house.

I can't afford to live here by myself

I'm reminded all the time of the things I can't afford.

How's it gonna feel?

I don't want to live in this house anymore.

The changes have been too much.

It's the cul-de-sac/

The neighbors.

Creve Coeur.

That's what I'll miss.

How's it gonna feel?

St. Louis.

Town and Country.

Creve Coeur.

And now, the farthest move yet.

How's it gonna feel?

New county.

New area code.

New address.

A different SC.

New case manager.

New, new, new.

How's it gonna feel?

It's not that I'm not grateful.

I don't mean to be hateful.

"Do you know how many times clients have been moved? 

Get over it. You're moving."

How's it gonna feel?

The administration has done so much.

Grateful and guilty

That's how I feel.

I'm just me.

Expand my horizons?

I am not a people person.

In my opinion, most people suck.

If I let you in you are special.

How's it gonna feel?

Send good thoughts, vibes, and prayers.

Because I don't know.

How it's gonna feel.

 

OMG! I'M A SWIFTIE

All illustrations by Alef Vernon Illustration

  

Me a Swiftie?

I'm too old.

I just like the Kelce Bros.

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

I watched The Eras Tour on Disney Plus.

I wanted to know why all the fuss.

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

I was blown away.

It was visually stunning.

Taylor spends an evening with 90,000 of her besties.

Chatting as though she was alone with each fan.

She is a philanthropist.

She leaves the cities she plays in better. Happier

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

My favorite era?

Evermore.

It's mystical.

Magical.

Foresty.

Millions of stars.

As Taylor plays a gold piano.

Covered in greenery.

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

Musician, singer, storyteller.

Her lyrics are compared to great poets of yore.

She gave the commencement speech at NYU.

Taylor Swift and Her World.

That's a class at Harvard too.

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

You know what really sealed it for me?

The night at Wembley with Travis Kelce

.I Can Do It With a Broken Heart was the song.

Travis asked if it would be alright.

If he was one of her dancers for the night.

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

Taylor fainted.

Travis caught her.

He carried her in his arms.

("Don't drop the baby. Do not drop the baby." That's what Trav was thinkin')

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

He laid her on a red couch.

When she awoke.

He dusted her cheeks (his too) with a makeup brush stroke.

OMG! I'm a swiftie.

He looked dapper in his top hat and tails

Dancing, smiling, and having fun.

He's her #1

Taylor blew him a kiss when his time on stage was done.

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

Their public romance has a private vibe

Like they are the only two people alive.

They are oblivious to the world's prying eyes.

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

Just a boy who loves a girl.

He makes heart hands at Chiefs games.

She does the archer pose at concerts.

Signals to each other.

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

Travis and Taylor made this old lady believe.

In fairytales.

In magic.

Just think...

It all started with a friendship bracelet.

OMG! I'm a Swiftie.

This post is dedicated to Lori and Melissa.