When Sonny and Cher sang I Got You, Babe, each week, with Sonny holding Chastity. They were the ideal family for me. I would tell myself that someday, I would have a family of my own. No one told me that I couldn't turn my dream into reality. No one told me I could either.
In 1975 my high school held its first prom. When my date and I walked in the teachers were surprised. "Oh look, Joanne has a date," they said. Their reaction made me feel even more self-conscious than I already did. Part of me wondered why they were surprised. Didn't girls bring dates to their prom? Did they think that I was too much of a nerd to get a date?
When I was a community college student there was a young man in a wheelchair who would follow me around. I guess he wanted to talk to me, but he did not know how to begin a conversation. It got so annoying that I would find ways to avoid him. I was accused of being a snob. I was disabled. I was in a power chair. Those were the only things we had in the common. Not enough to build a relationship on. A friend thought we'd be perfect for each other. The fact that we had nothing else in common did not matter. People with disabilities should only date other people with disabilities. I got the message. (Some people think that all people with disabilities know each other. We don't.)
In the '70s no books were written showing young women, with Cerebral Palsy, dating and getting married. There are many today. I read them because I want to know what it's like to have a disability and attend high school with your non-disabled peers.
Compared to a regular high school mine was like attending school on another planet. My school was much like the nursing home I currently reside in. It was a community unto itself. I am pleased there are books today where a young woman with my disability is encouraged to have a life just like her non-disabled peers. In the '60s, one of the few books available was a book titled Karen. Karen had Cerebral Palsy. Her mother fought to have Karen attend a regular school in an era when mainstreaming was virtually unheard of. The book was a big topic of discussion. among all of my friends.
It was very difficult to watch a friend with CP marry and have children. I did not really want to attend her wedding. I knew that it would be extremely difficult for me. I cried, but not for the reasons you might expect. Yes, I was happy for my friend. I also wondered if getting. married and having a family of my own, was in God's plan for me.
In 2001 I had a hysterectomy. I knew I would never have children. My hysterectomy made it so final. I mourned for what I had lost. I mourned for what I would never have.
People always see my disability first. That's to be expected. When they learn about my accomplishments they seem surprised. I had the same hopes and dreams as other young women. My mother never said it but I know she thought getting married was an unachievable dream for me.
New aides always ask If I have children. I told them that I was focused on having a career. I was too busy to think about getting married and having a family.
If the ADA and mainstreaming had existed when I was growing up my life might have been completely different.
It was very difficult to watch a friend with CP marry and have children. I did not really want to attend her wedding. I knew that it would be extremely difficult for me. I cried, but not for the reasons you might expect. Yes, I was happy for my friend. I also wondered if getting. married and having a family of my own, was in God's plan for me.
In 2001 I had a hysterectomy. I knew I would never have children. My hysterectomy made it so final. I mourned for what I had lost. I mourned for what I would never have.
People always see my disability first. That's to be expected. When they learn about my accomplishments they seem surprised. I had the same hopes and dreams as other young women. My mother never said it but I know she thought getting married was an unachievable dream for me.
New aides always ask If I have children. I told them that I was focused on having a career. I was too busy to think about getting married and having a family.
If the ADA and mainstreaming had existed when I was growing up my life might have been completely different.
I am a woman who just happens to have Cerebral Palsy.
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