PUT THE BIRD IN ITS CAGE

My glasses were lost. My glasses were found. They were hiding in plain sight. Until they were found I wore a pair that I had purchased over seven years ago when I lived in my house. The glasses did not fit very well anymore, but they were Vera Wang's so that was okay. On sale, half price, a steal!

Before I started wearing glasses at the age of three, my eyes were a hot mess. Trust me on this. I saw the home movies. 

I am nearsighted, my eyes cross. and my eyes don't fuse meaning I do not see with both eyes at the same time. My eyes flick from one to the other. I used to notice it all the time. The only time I notice it now is when I am extremely tired. The same is true for my crossed eyes. Thank goodness I got glasses. 

When I was little my ophthalmologist, Doctor Ludie was a kindly, old man (I was a kid. All adults looked ancient.) with salt and pepper gray hair, a mustache, and glasses. (Oh wait, I might be describing the character of  Richard from Gilmore Girls. I don't remember which seasons, but he had a mustache at one point. Does anyone else love GG? I hope there is another season. I want Luke and Lorelai to have a baby. Oops, sorry, got lost in my own stream of consciousness. My bad)

Doctor Ludie would perform a typical eye exam. Then he'd do a test designed to check my alternating vision. I had to look through weird-looking binoculars. On one lens was a picture of a bird. On the other lens was a picture of its cage. A person without alternating vision could move the binoculars until the bird was in its cage.

No matter how hard I tried I could not get that stupid bird in its cage. This humiliating part of my eye exam went on for years.

I got a pill bottle filled with M & M's when my exam was finished. Today Doctor Ludie would probably be accused of encouraging children to take drugs by asking, "Are you ready for your pills?"

I could say the whole bird in the cage thing scarred me for life  It's a sweet childhood memory of a kind man. His kind of ophthalmology practice does not exist anymore.  

fun Fact: The parking lot of the building in which Doctor Ludie's office was located was a great place to ride bikes, or in my case trikes, on warm summer evenings in the '60s. My mom bent over, holding on to me as I peddled as fast as I could, trying to keep up with the girl from across the street.

The 60's. The era of people-based health care. Carefree evenings riding bikes. The best.