THE SPOON THEORY

People with disabilities might refuse their showers. Please do not be grossed out by that statement. I assure you our reasons have nothing to with a desire to be dirty

Using their lift, getting in their shower chair, being pulled and tugged on, during their shower, may just be too much for them some days. 

 If their disability causes tight muscles, their spasticity alone is enough to wear them out. Throw in the effects of the aging process, arthritis, changes in hearing and vision, That's a lot for anyone to deal with. For someone with a disability, it is ten times worse 

Disabled people are told to speak clearer, louder, and not to whine. Some people with disabilities take deep breaths and then push to get their words out. This takes tremendous effort. When they try to speak more clearly their words may come out louder than they anticipated. They are accused of yelling. In reality, they are just trying to be heard and understood. Exhausted, they have depleted all of their spoons by noon.

The spoon theory is a metaphor created by Christine Miserandino for the energy and ability limitations that disabled folks live with : Source: tps://girlonthegoblog.com/2019/10/20/better-understanding-disability-using-the-spoon-theory/#:~:text=The%20spoon%20theory%20is%20a%20metaphor%20created%20by,the%20day%20takes%20a%20certain%20number%20of%20spoons.

If a person's allotted spoons for the day are used up too quickly they must do something relaxing to replenish them.

I have only recently discovered this theory. It makes a lot of sense. The idea of spoons representing my energy, abilities, and limitations for a day serves as a great visual for me.

If I tell someone that I am tired or hurting the response I am usually given is to be told how much that person's hurting too. Thereby making my complaint seem trivial and not valid. 

A lot of my spoons are depleted trying to get the assistance I need while trying not to anger the other person by saying too much. 

Young people really do not care. They care about themselves, their lives, and that all-important cell phone. The Me Generation is a  selfish one.  They live in the moment. They feel to grasp that they too could become disabled. It only takes a moment for a life to irreparably altered. They too could be trying to conserve their spoons someday.

People don't understand. They don't want to understand. A non-disabled person has an infinite number of spoons. Disabled people, like myself, are not as lucky.

There are mornings when I want to just stay in bed. I don't want to go through the hassle of the day. The back and forth of being told not to tell someone how to do their job.  I do not give in to staying in bed. That is just not me.

Disabled people need to recharge. We do not need to explain. We need to conserve our spoons so that we can do the things that are important to us. We don't need to waste our daily spoons on stress and negativity.